Inner Monologue

Samm: "Page 7?" [Talking about Ritzko]
Me: "Yeah, I just couldn't get into it."
Samm: [gives me a look]
Me: "That sounded bad, didn't it?"

As the author I shouldn't have said it, but its true! I just don't get hyped up over vampire novels. Don't get me wrong, I do like Ritzko, but its something I have to be in the mood for, and it seems really, REALLY dumbed down compared to Artemis.

Speaking of, here's a taste of Van Dean's dialogue, not as bad as a few of the things he says later, but its racy enough to give the reader an idea of what he plans to put Artemis through. Sad and good part is that I don't really have to re-write much of the dialogue, his from the first draft was near perfect. My only quandary is why didn't Artemis go more insane in the first draft?

I swear the only good part about these next few chapters is that Kamen finally gives Pandome a reason to cower with him, that and of course what ACP really stands for.

“Quid pro quo.” His jaw tightened, “And my dear, my whims change quite quickly. You’ll find it hard to keep up if you truly wish to save your Covington.”

She wiped the tears from her face and bit the inside of her mouth. “You’re turning this into game.”

He looked at her for a second before allowing a sinister smile to cross his face, “It is me you want to save Covington from, isn’t it? I want you. You understand that, don’t you?”

With a small twist of the knife he had broken the rind, and the peel of the orange was cut from the fruit in a long thin twisting ribbon leaving the segments to blossom outwards. In watching Van Dean perform the task Kamen’s attention was caught by the remaining oranges on the tray, each of which were in the act of mirroring the actions of the fruit in the hands of the demon, with identical spiral peels, and each blossomed effortlessly in their dance.

I already decided on how to do apples, just looking for a place to insert it.

I saw a fork today that reminded me of the Clovinian fruit forks! Zencha dessert forks, so tiny, so delicate, I can just see them being pushed into a grape half.

I don't know if I already posted this up here, I may have, but its a little more polished now, I'm darting around Chapter 50 and realizing that the story is just going to get depressing from this point on.

Also an interesting note: the "Haven" that Kamen keeps in order for the family and constantly offers to hide Artemis in, is referred to at least once as "Haven in Jannah". Jannah is the name of Celeste's forest, the center of which is said to contain the gates to the afterlife, making Jannah the forest of life and death. The reason why it was named "Jannah" in the first place is because it's an Arabic word for heaven. Heaven in the more Islamic sense, but its not so blatant a connection that any 13-year-old (who wasn't Muslim) could make, something that's become expected this far into the book.

( <Insert Cool Title Here> )

Tons of excerpts in here, stuff that won't be posted on DA, but I think I may have posted a bit of one of the excerpts on a previous entry. I'm having a hard time making headway at this point, mostly because of the content, I can't seem to write one of the scenes without feeling sick, and although I do plan on omitting it from the final project (the chapters will jump from 49 to 51seamlessly and only someone paying close attention will notice), I do need to know what is said in order to make things work after March 0.

That being said, this is completely out of context, but heart-wrenching nonetheless:

"I’ll believe anything you tell me.”

“The sky is red.”

“And a beautiful shade.”

Playing around with the idea of Ambrosia, I've decided to push up Kamen finding the jar, and decided to actually show the discovery. Including a few bittersweet memories of Lillaine, and actually eating some of the poison himself (it isn't like it would effect him anyways.)

“It’s sweet, but not too sweet.” Artemis said with two fingers to her mouth, her eyes still searching the black waves. “It’s delicious, but disgusting at the same time. First it was stuck in my mouth, but then it moved down my throat, and I can feel it in my chest now. I feel heavy, like I’m stuck in a nightmare.” She looked at him, easily meeting his curious eyes, “What is that?”

Van Dean slowly shook his head, “I’ve never felt anything like that, I couldn’t say.”

Arrogant Kamen is someone I want to strangle a little, and I've been told others feel the same way, but it still feels good to give Van Dean a rival that he can't touch, especially with how things seem to be spiraling downwards. Artemis really seems to have become a pawn at this point in the story, and for all practical purposes she's not really doing anything except for going insane. To me this only seems to make the final action in book 1 more inevitable.

( "I'll eat your heart." )

Somehow it seems like the roles of Kamen and Rei have become a little jumbled, once Kamen's got no reason to play nice with Van Dean he reverts to the Kamen from the original story, the guy playing hello kitty island adventure on a stake-out and panicking while sliding through Gorgosa on a rope into a death-march (jesus, were the original shenanigans really this wacky?). It works though, he melds perfectly with his Victor Covington persona, and becomes a little more gritty than the oath-bound tragic hero.

( "You guys are stalkers." )

It's chilling enough without knowing what is going to happen. I love the way I feel when I write.

The entire chapter 46, spoilers galore:

( They always had a rivalry, Van Dean just didn't know it. )

...too many spoilers.

Van Dean made a single slash at Kamen, aiming for his chest and hitting his mark.

The end of the fourragère of Kamen's dress uniform hit the ground with a small chime. His jacket had been slashed in a long thin line across his chest, a mark to match the one across his face, and despite this, the flesh beneath was untouched. Van Dean furrowed his brow and Kamen slowly looked down, wondering why he wasn't covered in blood.

Artemis seemed to stop breathing for a moment, unsure of what had just happened, and Van Dean only glanced at her once before he dropped Necrosis. Kamen slowly turned from his opponent to look back at the woman who had Van Dean's full attention.

Artemis Celestine's chest was slashed open an inch lower than her clavicle from one side all the way across her chest to the other, hemorrhaging with no sign of stopping. She ran her fingertips over her chest and held them up to her face, almost in disbelief that she was the one that was wounded. She slowly shook her head, "Q'fmt?"

Someone is going to hate the way I ended Ritzko, but in my defense it was always meant to be this way...or rather this was the better of two endings. I am not about to get into the delusion that vampires are sparkly nice creatures. Ritz is my proof of that. I know it doesn't fall into the story, but a part of me really does wish it could have been different.

But, this is the way Samm wanted it to end.

Why do I get such a kick out of the way Bastian talks to Ms. Helen?

( Ritzko Excerpt )

I'm off work for a few days, and I'm hoping to push out at least 10k in three days. Shouldn't be too different from pushing out 20k in 4.

( Excerpt from Ritzko )

I love this story already. Even more knowing how it ends.

( Ritzko )