Paisley prints and interesting guests.

[xhesika]

Someone is going to hate the way I ended Ritzko, but in my defense it was always meant to be this way...or rather this was the better of two endings. I am not about to get into the delusion that vampires are sparkly nice creatures. Ritz is my proof of that. I know it doesn't fall into the story, but a part of me really does wish it could have been different.

But, this is the way Samm wanted it to end.

Why do I get such a kick out of the way Bastian talks to Ms. Helen?

I went ahead and made the phone call while Ritz was in the bathroom, making sure I was out of earshot of Jenna who was in the kitchen cooking what would be breakfast for me.

"Hello? Ms. Helen?" I said looking from side to side.

"What? Who's calling?" She said on the other side of the telephone.

So much for not being heard, "HELLO MS. HELEN. ITS BASTIAN."

"Oh hi!" I rolled my eyes at her voice and I was certain that Jenna was shooting daggers with her eyes at the ceiling of the kitchen.

"I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD WATCH JENNA TONIGHT, I HAVE SOME WORK TO DO."

"I don't know honey, the last time all that garlic made me feel dizzy."

What the hell? The woman smelled like prunes and she was upset over my house smelling like garlic to keep vampires away? I bit my lip, "THE GARLIC IS CLEANED UP NOW. WE CONDENSED IT. THE HOUSE DOESN'T SMELL ANYMORE."

I heard Ritz burst out laughing in the shower and I let out half a laugh of my own.

Ms. Helen couldn't hear me laughing, I was glad about that. "I don't know, honey. You told me we would discuss my pay raise. I come over there at a moment's notice. At all hours of the night. When I was Jenny's age I watched myself. We did the cooking, the cleaning, and if we burned the house down we were beaten to a pulp for it."

Wait. What? "I KNOW MS. HELEN."

"And then we walked ourselves to school., We didn't have busses. We walked fifteen miles, in the snow, uphill both ways, with no shoes because we had to eat them for strength. I learned valuable lessons from my experiences and I was the best pickle-jar-opener at the factory because of all the effort I put into perfecting the art at an early age."

Oh. My. God. "YES MS. HELEN. I'LL DOUBLE YOUR PAY." She only worked for fifty cents an hour anyways.

"What? Oh, Bastian. That is way too much. What would I do with all that money?"

"Buy hearing aids." I growled with clenched teeth.

"What was that?"

"YOU DESERVE IT, YOU WORK HARD."

Ritz was now in the doorway, wrapped up in my towel, and biting her lower lip to stop herself from laughing more. Jenna was right next to her giving me another one of those "I hate you" looks.

The instant I hung up the phone I looked at Jenna, "I hate you right now, Bast. Right?"

Jenna huffed and rolled her eyes before going back to the kitchen.

"Ritz, you should get dressed."

Ritz looked at the towel, "Hmm. No. I think this is too great an opportunity."

"Seriously, Ritz. She's already going to be pissed that I have a vampire in the house, I don't need her to see you half-dressed."

She sighed. I knew she really didn't want to have to deal with Ms. Helen either. Sure enough by the time Ms. Helen's car screeched down the street and up to the house Ritz was dressed and Jenna was ready to play mute.

Ms. Helen gave an appalled look to Ritz and immediately began to ignore her. "Hello Jenny, how are you?"

Jenna nodded slowly, clearly unenthused.

"Jenny?" Ritz said confused.

"Now, Bastian. I take back what I said about the pay. I have a good retirement from the dill pickle company. All we really did was pull on the pull-em and push on the push-em and the pickles go into the jar."

Jenna's face had scrunched up and began to twitch. I felt the same way.

Was Ms. Helen getting crazier?

"I bet she was the shmuck that got fired." Ritz said, she was going to take advantage of the fact that Ms. Helen couldn't hear her.

I gave Ritz a look and she sighed, "IT'S OKAY MS. HELEN. YOU DESERVE A RAISE. YOU'VE HELPED ME OUT A LOT RECENTLY. I KNOW THIS JOB IS STRESSFUL."

Ms. Helen nodded, "You certainly have some…interesting guests." She glanced at Ritz for a second and then back to me, "Have fun at work tonight."

"Paisley prints make me vomit, Bast. I'm going to be sick." Jenna said.