I can't stop laughing
Oct. 1st, 2010 12:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xhesika“You fell down the stairs?” Rei’s voice was oddly patronizing “Is that why you never showed up for imagination day?”
Rei’s entire attitude so far that day suggested he was not in a good mood and the reasoning for this was that just under Parliament on his list of things he hated were meetings. Theodore Fosh and Rhuben Pitch, were the two ministers of defense and directly under Kamen in rank. Fosh over sought external affairs and Pitch watched over the internal, both had been called to Rei’s office for a meeting that day and Rei had yet to decide what the meeting was to be about. As a matter of fact the meeting was only being held because it reflected badly on him if he did not meet with the three people below him a day after the new dauphine was announced.
Kamen was confused now, “Do people not fall down the stairs around here?”
Rei rolled his eyes, “What kind of clumsy fool are you? Couldn’t you come up with something a little more creative, like a crocodile pulled out a knife and cut you after you crashed a mechafly into him?” He stopped with a hand on the handle of the door to his office, “Is that what you told your mother?”
“Are you suggesting I’d lie to my mother on her deathbed?”
“I haven’t decided yet.” Rei opened the door to the office and the two men already inside said nothing to him, still chatting amongst themselves. “Just tread lightly around the monkey; he was the worst gift she could have accepted.”
“He was a gift?”
Rei nodded and grumbled, “From Van Dean. She knows he’s a better spy than Pandomé and she still won’t get rid of him.”
“What?” Artemis’ reasoning for withholding that information from him made sense to Kamen now; he felt another pang of anger and shook his head.
The chattering was getting rather annoying now, as if the day wasn’t bad already Rei added not being the center of attention to his list of things he hated, and he’d be damned if it was that way in his own office, “Oh my fucking god, what the hell are you two on about now?”
Fosh looked back at him slowly, almost concerned, “Rei? Did you draw this?”
“I swear, I think that’s Chairman Weinham!” Pitch was now pointing to the words above the stick figure’s head, “See, it says “Weiny”? It can’t be a coincidence!”
The small guffaw that came from Kamen was quickly silenced by a stern look from Rei who coated his next words in thick honey, “Pitch, why are you wearing your dress boots?”
Pitch stopped looking at the drawing, “I…couldn’t find my other ones?”
Fosh burst into uncontrollable laughter, “Bullshit, I watched you struggle with the laces for thirty minutes this morning before you gave up.”
Pitch looked as if Fosh had hung his favorite teddy bear in a noose, “You saw and you didn’t bother to help?”
Rei’s jaw dropped, “What the fuck kind of sailor are you, Pitch?”
“The fishing kind? We never had boots that laced; they were always the big rubber kind!”
“That isn’t the…oh what the hell does it matter?” He looked back at Kamen, “Don’t even tell me you wouldn’t be pissed about this. Clovis is fucked. Fosh is shifty as hell…”
Fosh took offence immediately, “Hey!”
Rei continued, “I have a sailor that can’t tie a goddamned knot…”
Fosh was still wound up with his offense, “It gets wet out there! Do you know how slimy fish are?”
The next gesture was made back to Kamen, “And you keep falling on your face.”
Rei’s entire attitude so far that day suggested he was not in a good mood and the reasoning for this was that just under Parliament on his list of things he hated were meetings. Theodore Fosh and Rhuben Pitch, were the two ministers of defense and directly under Kamen in rank. Fosh over sought external affairs and Pitch watched over the internal, both had been called to Rei’s office for a meeting that day and Rei had yet to decide what the meeting was to be about. As a matter of fact the meeting was only being held because it reflected badly on him if he did not meet with the three people below him a day after the new dauphine was announced.
Kamen was confused now, “Do people not fall down the stairs around here?”
Rei rolled his eyes, “What kind of clumsy fool are you? Couldn’t you come up with something a little more creative, like a crocodile pulled out a knife and cut you after you crashed a mechafly into him?” He stopped with a hand on the handle of the door to his office, “Is that what you told your mother?”
“Are you suggesting I’d lie to my mother on her deathbed?”
“I haven’t decided yet.” Rei opened the door to the office and the two men already inside said nothing to him, still chatting amongst themselves. “Just tread lightly around the monkey; he was the worst gift she could have accepted.”
“He was a gift?”
Rei nodded and grumbled, “From Van Dean. She knows he’s a better spy than Pandomé and she still won’t get rid of him.”
“What?” Artemis’ reasoning for withholding that information from him made sense to Kamen now; he felt another pang of anger and shook his head.
The chattering was getting rather annoying now, as if the day wasn’t bad already Rei added not being the center of attention to his list of things he hated, and he’d be damned if it was that way in his own office, “Oh my fucking god, what the hell are you two on about now?”
Fosh looked back at him slowly, almost concerned, “Rei? Did you draw this?”
“I swear, I think that’s Chairman Weinham!” Pitch was now pointing to the words above the stick figure’s head, “See, it says “Weiny”? It can’t be a coincidence!”
The small guffaw that came from Kamen was quickly silenced by a stern look from Rei who coated his next words in thick honey, “Pitch, why are you wearing your dress boots?”
Pitch stopped looking at the drawing, “I…couldn’t find my other ones?”
Fosh burst into uncontrollable laughter, “Bullshit, I watched you struggle with the laces for thirty minutes this morning before you gave up.”
Pitch looked as if Fosh had hung his favorite teddy bear in a noose, “You saw and you didn’t bother to help?”
Rei’s jaw dropped, “What the fuck kind of sailor are you, Pitch?”
“The fishing kind? We never had boots that laced; they were always the big rubber kind!”
“That isn’t the…oh what the hell does it matter?” He looked back at Kamen, “Don’t even tell me you wouldn’t be pissed about this. Clovis is fucked. Fosh is shifty as hell…”
Fosh took offence immediately, “Hey!”
Rei continued, “I have a sailor that can’t tie a goddamned knot…”
Fosh was still wound up with his offense, “It gets wet out there! Do you know how slimy fish are?”
The next gesture was made back to Kamen, “And you keep falling on your face.”
