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xhesikaRobbie and I did Christmas shopping together today, he kept changing his mind on what he wanted so we just ended up going up to Somerset to browse.
Of course I don't think I've really posted anything substantial in a long time.
Christmas this year wasn't as bad I as thought it was going to be. I had a hard time not crying, but I managed...with lots of booze. I don't like where this is going to be quite honest. When I went down there for thanksgiving it was honestly there was nothing to drink in the house but wine, so helllllooooo.
This time, I'm not even going to lie, and I don't care if she sees it, it was Emily. I don't see my sister very often, and every time sort of gives me a pang. I'm sure I've posted about it before, how when I was first getting Artemis started she vandalized the copy beyond all recognition. I was just a little kid and it was like the world ended for me. I think it hurts even more now because of how I've lost Artemis again, I just associate the pain with her and I can't trust her at all. Pair that with my mother mocking my writing all growing up and you've got the reasons why Samm is the only one in my immediate family that I let read ANY of my stuff. (She seemed interested about the mermaid book I'm thinking about, more on that later).
Also, what kind of person calls you after your house has been broken into and you've lost everything to tell you that she hates her life because she doesn't want her career to send her to Texas where they'll pay for everything for her to live for a year?
ANY-who, Samm was waiting at the back door when I got home, I guess she believed that I needed it to talk to Lacey? To be honest I miss having Lacey as a close friend, booze wasn't needed for her, but it was sure as hell welcomed for Emily. They invited me out with them around midnight, but I ended up not going, I really didn't want to put myself in an emotionally vulnerable position around someone I don't trust. I ended up leaving without saying goodbye, mostly because I don't think I would have been able to handle it. Its just easier to leave before anyone wakes up. Besides, Samm can come up and visit any time.
The real save was that I had to work at midnight on Chistmas so I had a legitimate excuse to not go to Maumee. I was very close to that "Fuck Christmas" text. I'm past looking at half the people in my extended family as family. After that summer where I was refused a bed at family vacation I've pretty much written a couple of them off. Debating going to see my Grandparents, they're not doing so well I guess and I prefer to remember them in better health.
Otherwise, it was nice, seeing everyone, we stopped by Tammi's Christmas morning (we had dinner with my family Christmas Eve) and brought breakfast for the kids while they tore open presents, I was on assembly duty for most of the trucks Landyn got. Holy crap those kids made out this year, of course I have noticed little by little (and I'm sure not as much as I would if I were still living down there) that they seem to be getting along a little better. I think its mostly due to school, and that Anika is now at school as well, then you have Mikayla and Hagen getting older, Mikayla seems quite a bit more responsible than when I left a few months ago. I miss them all.
Of course the conversaitions between Robbie and I were just as interesting, and will be saved for a more private post.
Long story short, okay Christmas, okay family times, happy times with Tammi and the kids.
Of course I don't think I've really posted anything substantial in a long time.
Christmas this year wasn't as bad I as thought it was going to be. I had a hard time not crying, but I managed...with lots of booze. I don't like where this is going to be quite honest. When I went down there for thanksgiving it was honestly there was nothing to drink in the house but wine, so helllllooooo.
This time, I'm not even going to lie, and I don't care if she sees it, it was Emily. I don't see my sister very often, and every time sort of gives me a pang. I'm sure I've posted about it before, how when I was first getting Artemis started she vandalized the copy beyond all recognition. I was just a little kid and it was like the world ended for me. I think it hurts even more now because of how I've lost Artemis again, I just associate the pain with her and I can't trust her at all. Pair that with my mother mocking my writing all growing up and you've got the reasons why Samm is the only one in my immediate family that I let read ANY of my stuff. (She seemed interested about the mermaid book I'm thinking about, more on that later).
Also, what kind of person calls you after your house has been broken into and you've lost everything to tell you that she hates her life because she doesn't want her career to send her to Texas where they'll pay for everything for her to live for a year?
ANY-who, Samm was waiting at the back door when I got home, I guess she believed that I needed it to talk to Lacey? To be honest I miss having Lacey as a close friend, booze wasn't needed for her, but it was sure as hell welcomed for Emily. They invited me out with them around midnight, but I ended up not going, I really didn't want to put myself in an emotionally vulnerable position around someone I don't trust. I ended up leaving without saying goodbye, mostly because I don't think I would have been able to handle it. Its just easier to leave before anyone wakes up. Besides, Samm can come up and visit any time.
The real save was that I had to work at midnight on Chistmas so I had a legitimate excuse to not go to Maumee. I was very close to that "Fuck Christmas" text. I'm past looking at half the people in my extended family as family. After that summer where I was refused a bed at family vacation I've pretty much written a couple of them off. Debating going to see my Grandparents, they're not doing so well I guess and I prefer to remember them in better health.
Otherwise, it was nice, seeing everyone, we stopped by Tammi's Christmas morning (we had dinner with my family Christmas Eve) and brought breakfast for the kids while they tore open presents, I was on assembly duty for most of the trucks Landyn got. Holy crap those kids made out this year, of course I have noticed little by little (and I'm sure not as much as I would if I were still living down there) that they seem to be getting along a little better. I think its mostly due to school, and that Anika is now at school as well, then you have Mikayla and Hagen getting older, Mikayla seems quite a bit more responsible than when I left a few months ago. I miss them all.
Of course the conversaitions between Robbie and I were just as interesting, and will be saved for a more private post.
Long story short, okay Christmas, okay family times, happy times with Tammi and the kids.
