May. 26th, 2012

xhesika: (tealfashion)
I wish everything weren't so up in the air and I could pinpoint a few of said things.

Anyways, I figured out why I couldn't transfer a lot of my music to my ipod. Most of my music is in FLAC files. I actually do notice a difference. I transfered Parov Stelar - Monster as an mp3 to the ipod, played it, then listened to the FLAC on winamp... there is barely any bass in the mp3. That is what makes the song...

So it looks like Goldfrapp, the Veronicas, Vast, and Temposhark are too hot for my ipod?

Feeling a little better today, what I need to do however is just straight up block my family e-mails. Extended family, that shit is in no way shape or form helpful.

It's been a week since I had an actual conversation with my friend, I talked to her about what happened and got a lot off my chest, but still feel hurt, and somehow it waivers between better and worse every time I seem to turn around. I figured that I could just let myself cool for a bit and brush it under the rug quietly, but I just ended up blowing up. Still really hurts, but I've got a little peace of mind.

Robbie and I were talking about finances and the like, jeez, yesterday was busy. I was woken up early by legit shouting in the house, and not the normal, the angry sort from his mother to his father. Long story short, Robbie's pretty interested in getting out of here. He brought up the possibility of getting out of here before October...before August even. Its possible only with one factor, something I put no stock in for several reasons, it is based purely on someone I don't trust, but Robbie seems willing to fight for it.

I would like to be home before the rose gardens stop blooming.

I was talking with my friend Andrew about a few things that had happened this weekend, and one of them was the realization that even if I got back to where I was, it wouldn't be the same because I would be different. I'm really trying to pull myself out of this shell I seem to have put myself into. I really just don't feel right venting about everything to Samm, she's got a lot on her plate with classes, and I guess she got hired on as a camp councilor with the local community house, something that would look great on a social worker resume.

God, she'd love it if we moved before august. I haven't said anything. I want to put stock in it, but I'm so tired of disappointment I don't think I could take another one, and I don't want to get her hopes up.


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August 2012

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