Samson needs a sassy gay friend.

Not for the whole Delilah bit, but for the foxes. I was looking over numerology for Gale and was looking over the number three-hundred. So I see something about foxes and decide to pull out my bible and take a look...

So he comes home from god knows where and his father-in-law is like, "I thought you hated your wife, so i let her shack up with the best man at from your wedding!"

And Samson is like, "WTF M8?"

And his father-in-law is like, "It's okay! Her younger sister is prettier anyways, you can shack up with her!"

And Samson is like, "And you guys wonder why I'm always nerd-raged?"

And then he goes off and CATCHES 300 FOXES WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Individually, all of them lured, took him hours, didn't hurt not-a-one...that is until he TIES TORCHES TO THEIR TAILS AND LIGHTS THEM ON FIRE THEN SENDS THEM INTO THE WHEAT FIELDS.

Then when they come to arrest Samson he's like, "WTF M8, WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?"

And he kills a thousand men with a jawbone that he tears from a donkey that just happens to be lying around, my version of the bible (NKJV) doesn't say if this animal was alive or dead, but w/e, I doubt Samson cared either way.

I don't know if I would call him bad-ass or crazy as hell, but one thing is for sure, I bet PETA was in on arresting him and his downfall.

Completely inappropreate playlist shuffle.

Winamp is trolling me, TWICE in one day already.

They were a diversion, merely a diversion, and as Adam took a step back in initial horror before reaching for each of the animals and breaking what necks he could reach without spilling any of their blood I made my own attack.

Winamp's choice: Tom Jones -- It's not unusual

Grimacing and seething with pure hatred for me he pulled the knife from my shoulder and began to hack at me with it, slashing and tearing at my throat and chest, and making a desperate attempt to cause me to pull back from him, for he wanted nothing more than to flee in that moment.

Winamp's choice: Micheal Bublé -- Crazy Love