Sep. 10th, 2011

xhesika: (hero)
I finally talked with Robbie about how I had been feeling, I know he didn't want to hear it. I'm sure he hated it more when I told him that I had been thinking about it for awhile, and to tell the truth I'm still thinking about it.

I apped for a job at Meijers, its all I really could do at this point. I've gotten zero callbacks from the places I apped, and the place that Robbie's dad assured us would be a "sure thing" fell through completely.

The truth is that I'm feeling completely defeated. Feelings that I haven't felt in years.

My parents and Samm are coming up this Wednesday, and I just know that Samm is going to take one look and ask how I manage to live here. To tell the truth I don't know. Every bit of this place kills me.

I hate that I'm going to have to have another talk with Robbie.

And I hate that it seems like it just took one thing to make me feel terrible about everything. I feel completely unwelcome, and I realize I'm only here for Robbie.

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xhesika

August 2012

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