Aug. 9th, 2011

xhesika: (changed my mind)
I seem to be having a lot of dreams about trees lately.

Last night, or yesterday (I was feeling depressed and ended up sleeping about 18 hours), I dreamt that I was in a house that was very cluttered. It was a school of sorts? Or a camp or something. There were a bunch of other girls with me.

I was collecting things, pairs of things, I vividly remember trying to collect the pair to my gray knee-highs, which I coincidentally had fallen asleep in. I found it and I was telling one of the girls, "I'm sorry I really need to go."

I take my suitcase full of my pairs of things (socks, jeans, mostly different items of clothing) and I go into the woods and I walk until I find a tree that has stairs going from the base to the top in a spiral all around the trunk. I go up the stairs and at the top there is a room/house where I am going to live.

Still no Morpheus, but I don't think he is coming back. It was interesting while it lasted.
xhesika: (Default)
The first week we were here was taken up mostly by the trip up to Oscoda, which I did take many nice nature-y pictures which I will have to upload onto FB or put in an LJ cut. The picture quality on my new phone is much nicer than the last I had (which I did expect), but what made my day was the fact that despite us forgetting the internet MiFi verizon adapter, I still had internet wherever I got a cell phone signal, so I was able to keep in touch with people through texts.

I got my fishing license, I caught a fish, I learned how to clean a fish, but we couldn't eat them because they had lots and lots of worms. I also shot of a few guns, and I decided that my aim is terrible and I need something with little to no kickback, or a LOT of aim practice.

The night before last we managed to get Ryan over here for the night because Robbie needed to stay up to get his schedule back on track for work. Robbie fell asleep several times, but Ryan and I stayed up the whole night playing games. I also got re-situated with a copy of the Sims 2, which will be a nice outlet for a while (I'll get to why in a few).

So Ryan is grounded, and after talking with him for a little I'm actually more surprised that he isn't more grounded. He has a lot of self control for having to deal with everything that is going on with him right now, I don't think his dad really sees it, but I'm not a parent and I have no right to say anything really, but I do think that if Rick and Teresa knew what was going on they would have a lot more to say to their other children.

So about the MiFi really quick. It has a limit on kB/sec. MEANING, I can't skype call, I can't torrent, and I can't LiveStream here. In order to do any of those I need to go to Rick and Teresa's (who have wonderful internet BTW) and I feel rather awkward to go there and pull out my lappy. But w/e. Robbie has talked to his dad about adding internet onto his coverage and paying the difference, the problem is that it's satellite and will probably be buggy, but it's something.

About yesterday, being unemployed has started to set in, and me, with my already quite obvious issue with being useful, started to feel like crap...to the point where I wore myself out crying and then cried myself to sleep. It doesn't help that any of the things that I used to do to get myself out of a rut were impossible to do. And I'm getting teary just now thinking about it. There's no tea salons, no Samm to run around with, no skyping, I am feeling trapped. And to top it off I'm dreaming again. But no dreams with Morpheus, that might have been a comfort, I get the strange cryptic kind.

Of course regardless of the fact that I spent the last year and a half taking care of crazy patients and families of people who were dying, I am apparently not considered experienced in customer service and retail, so any job I apply for I don't have much hope in getting. This of course hasn't stopped me from applying anywhere I can. I really did have my eyes set on the new Charming Charlie, but I doubt I'll get a call from them. I just have to wait for some kind of response.

Robbie did have a good first day at work, he got out on time regardless of them being understaffed by 3 people, and said that the labor was handled much differently than it was in C-Bus. His shift isn't forced to do the work of the other shifts, and if they are running short the management isn't worried about conditioning to give the illusion of the shelves being full, they just want the product up there. So Robbie came home laughing and we talked for a while and then I looked at the clock (which at the time read 730 or so) and I told him that the people in C-Bus were probably still hard at work.

I just want a job, something to occupy myself with. Sims 2 will get old quick. I think I may pull out my paints and canvas today. We're supposed to go meet with the owner of the small grocery store down the street today, hopefully that will bring some good news.
xhesika: (Default)
...following an attempted skype text. I know my Mom likes the convenience of the voice chat over the typing because she never really learned how to type and doesn't spend enough time writing on the computer to teach herself (basically how I learned). I saw an upset FB post about how she wished family could get along with a few typos (meaning she didn't take her time) so typed to her on skype. Normally she would take a little longer and type back to me, but my phone immediately started going off.

My mother actually has a sister, well another sister, not the one she talks to all the time, but one that never returns calls, never did anything with us or ever talked with us. Actually the last time I ever saw her was when she was covered in track marks with joints all over her house and I was 1 or 2...

Apparently after not talking with this sister for a while she sends my mother a nasty e-mail. My mom likes to do all the cheesy re-posts and apparently when my mother was re-posting things about special needs children, world hunger, underpaid iraq vets, and...well you get the idea, charities and people less fortunate...well her sister thought she was talking about her.

...

ROFL

I would have laughed untill I peed myself if my mom wasn't in tears thinking that she had done something wrong.

So I left a nasty FB message on her wall... /shrug. It's not like I know the chick or have any obligation to her. She's done nothing but blow off the rest of her family, and she's never been a part of mine.

I can't even really be bitter. This is weird. I think this is what not caring really feels like.

I am such a bad person and I am going to hell.

I hope its nice and toasty.

Teefs.

Aug. 9th, 2011 05:01 pm
xhesika: (cereal)
Was talking with Lorie (Robbie's mom), apparently they have Delta Dental as well! I may be going to the dentist soon!

Yay teeeeeeeeeefffffssssss!

Yuck bills.

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