Melting

Dec. 12th, 2011 04:35 am
xhesika: (She Won't Look at You)
Finishing up a few things on Gale before I go to tackle the two other books in the series. I've come to the conclusion that Jenna, the next and last book, will be the only one in the series that is properly plotted out, chapter by chapter. I'm still pretty amazed that these three books did so well with no planning at all. Literally I had a basic idea, sat down, and just started typing. Of course the document of notes is pretty impressive now.

I think the best preparation for me is simply being able to bounce my ideas off of my editor, and to top it off editing one of the books at the same time allows me to bounce even more ideas off of her, but more complex ideas.

The editing for Bastian is coming along okay so far, we've come to the conclusion that we'll be going over the books at least three times not including how much I go through before sending it to her. Basically I want this to be immaculate by the time it goes to print. I can't afford to have too many mistakes or continuity issues on my debut, it just looks bad on me as a writer. In the meantime, I'm learning all sorts of particulars about the English language, random stuffs too like dove v. dived (both are correct but dived irks me for some reason). I'm feeling a little strange about the idea that I have a particular writing style, I don't know if I'm proud of it or what, but its something that will be interesting to see in the future.

And so, here's the excerpt that makes my editor "aww" every time. God, I'd be lying if I said I didn't like that scene in the rain, Gale's three word line is the best.

Kat's Favorite )
xhesika: (tealfashion)
For the month of December I'm supposed to be taking a break from writing. I feel a little empty about it with all things considered, I've gotten into the habit of just tapping away at a document whenever I can that I feel strange not working on anything.

So instead I'm looking over the two books that I pushed out over the past two months. I decided to start with Gale since I seem to be in the swing of things. Well its going okay enough...but the more I look at this book the more I realize I wrote something completely heart-wrenching.

The basic idea of the book is to show how the villain became what he is, and ORIGINALLY the idea was that the biggest cause was the relationships Gale had with Marley and Mary, and how somehow it became warped into something with Adam...now looking at it, I think it was really Ritz. How awful.

It had been raining, something that I had long since shrugged off. I could not catch any illness from the rain, it was merely the smallest of hindrances, but Renée came out of her small apartment with an umbrella as if I were about to fall over.

“Monsieur DeWinter, you will catch your death!” She rushed over to me with the umbrella, coughing on her own the entire way over to me in the downpour.

“If only.” I said slowly. She smiled at me, and I could not help but smile back, happy that she seemed to have either forgiven me or forgotten entirely about our conversation the night prior. Either way, I was glad that she was not cross with me. “I am melting,” I managed.

“I can see that.” She took my arm and began to pull me towards her door.

“Not in the physical sense.”


It's sweet, adorable, Gale's been shut off from most everything up until this point in his life and now he's slowly experiencing emotions and is wonderfully unaware of how to show them or relay them to others. So Ritz saves him, right? Gives him a new lease on life, right?

I'm bordering more now on the idea that Ritz damned him. With all the running around the world the two do in trying to stay away from Marley and Mary, Gale ends up becoming even more twisted. So I now look at this story as something awful and tragic, how Gale and Ritz become hardened and manipulative.

I knew this was going to happen, I don't think I ever saw the story THIS way though.

When I wrote Bastian a year ago I didn't mean for my characters to become this complex...I think that's why I didn't care much for it then.
xhesika: (Default)
Gale excerpts below, trigger warnings: blood, gore, vivisection, abuse, necromancy, I'm going to go ahead and say sexual content as well since some of the descriptions get pretty racy.

The relationship between Gale and Ritz has a nice start, but it quickly becomes...unhealthy, I'm just waiting to be ridiculed for writing this book.

To make it worse my mind has been in very dark places during the entire month of November because of this, I am seriously reconsidering my December endeavor.

Here we go... )
xhesika: (cooking gaga)
Over 11k and still going up, I'm weighing the best way to go about a book like this. I don't think I've ever read a book written from the perspective of the villain where they didn't repent or die by the end.

Belladonna )
In the meantime I press on with NaNoWriMo, I'm a few days ahead, but I don't want to fall behind at all. The trouble is that with what I'm writing I'm having to be very picky with my word choice to make sure that everything falls into plan.

Today was lovely though, and it's not over yet. Robbie left to go further south to see friends and I spent the day with Samm. I have eaten so much sushi down here I'm happier than a kitty.

In other news KiKi is beautiful and her tail is as fluffy as she is wide, I almost want to steal her.

Columbus

Nov. 4th, 2011 09:15 pm
xhesika: (cooking gaga)
After visiting the hospital tonight I've realized a few things about the spot I'm at right now.

I'm in a position where I have been able to do the thing I love and be supported by someone I love. I may go nuts and bored and want a job every now and again, but in the end I'm very happy with being able to write like I love to.

So we're in C-Bus for the weekend, Robbie is leaving tomorrow to go further south for a few days, I meanwhile am staying in the city to visit with family and friends. When we return to Waterford we have the luxury of having the house all to ourselves. We did shopping before leaving, so I am extra interested in all the delicious things that I am going to cook.

Also, 10k into my NaNo project, Gale, and suddenly the story is deviating into much more passionate territory than I had originally planned. I guess I'll never be able to completely control my characters.

Also also, am I the only one who truly believes that FB needs to come down? I know ANON rumors are all over, but it would be nice to show the larger corporations and bigwigs that people in general can still twist the screws.
xhesika: (cooking gaga)
Gale wasn’t interested in leaving the house before Keane and the police arrived, he instead pulled up a chair and sat to the right of Mr. Crawley’s corpse, cigarette in hand, cat in his lap, and sniffing the air curiously every so often. I didn’t stick around to ask him what details his nose was picking up, while he wasn’t bothered with the smell of rotting flesh, I had to rush out of the house for fresh air and the first cigarette in half a month.

Its bad enough scouring the internet for “Necromancy 101”, but its worse when all these sites are citing resources that are in my own library.

I’m going to have to tone down some of the details in the chapters I’m working on, either that or put trigger warnings on them.

Even worse, I’ve been snacking the whole time I’ve been writing.


xhesika: (tealfashion)
I had another interview tonight, this time at meijer's, in a different department than Robbie, but that was what I wanted anyways. Also not a cashier position, so yay. It went well, Robbie came home for lunch and said that Steph, the manager had stated that I'm pretty much a sure thing for the job, they just have to wait for my background check to come back and get me set up with one last interview as a formality.

So yay!

In the meantime, NaNoWriMo is coming up. Originally I had planned to try for a book with seven chapters, basically about a motel through 7 days of the week and the people who stay there. So more of a compilation of interwoven short stories. I have since changed my mind. David is going to be finished by November, I've got the ending worked out in my mind and the plots for the next book in place. I plan on moving on to Gale for NaNoWriMo.

I'm excited to do this, I can't remember ever reading a book from the villain's POV.

In the meantime I think Bastian may be under control, or getting back under control. Things are looking up, but the publication has still been pushed back to after the new year, which is okay with me.

Looking to go to C-Bus on the 5th and 6th of November as well. Robbie is going further south to see friends, and I'mma be crashing at my parent's for those days and visiting with my sister. I need to give Tammi a call so I can crash and give her the presents I've been collecting for her, LOL.

I love that Robbie listens to just as much Maroon 5 as I do...for slightly different reasons, but still!
xhesika: (Utena)
I have an interview with Charming Charlie tomorrow. I am extra excited, and so happy that a store I loved so much is coming to the area. Even moreso that I have finally gotten a call back from the sites and sites of applications I exhausted.

Tucker is incredibly sick, the steroid shot he was given the first time he went to the vet wore off and apparently weakened his immune system. He was veggy-like for a few days (poor thing) and has started to perk up after all the antibiotics we've been giving him. Persephone has been staying away from him and treating him like a leper.

I believe that Robbie has started to really miss the city. He's expressed that he's tired of the same routine, of course when I ask him what he would like to do when he comes home from work, he has no idea. Which to be honest, is because there is nothing.

I have been surviving with my writing, and have actually started a dA account for porn. No, it is in no way associated with my main account, so you'd be lucky if you ever find it.

Back to writing porn for now.
xhesika: (tealfashion)
“Didn’t Bas-ti-an tell you what he did to Marley?”

“He ate him!” Jenna said, her eyes widened and she was about to get into story mode, “And I got to work the garlic gun, and the vampires threw fire down, and it was so cool!”

Johnson slowly looked from Jenna to me, blinking once, “You brought the kid?”

Goddamnit. “My babysitter is nuts, okay?”

Ritz nodded with a forced half smile.

xhesika: (Caspius Van Dean)
Looking over my earliest draft of Artemis, reminiscing and looking for things that I could throw into the re-write of Book 2 I found a few more gems I’m almost 100% certain I will re-incorporate.

Things I’ve grabbed from the old book already in Book 1:
  • Pandomé (the entire character)
  • Kamen and grand theft auto (the whole mechafly crash as a tribute, but I DO plan on having him steal a cab just for old times sake)
  • Celeste’s Lithe (a tribute more to the old Firebird myths that were used in one of the old lessons, might use that later in Book 2)
  • Sharon (Now Rei’s leftovers and possibly number six for Fosh, oh god, Alladair was the first? O.o)
Something neat I found: Nancy was severely asthmatic, actually the proper use of Celeste’s blue pearls was to provide relief. Of course for most of the story early on Kamen ends up giving lots of piggy-back rides.

Ah, Kamen’s family lives in this version…yeah no dice buddy, your family is dead dead dead
xhesika: (Caspius Van Dean)
One of the more recent short stories I've been working on. It looks like the editing for Bastian is going to get a little sketchy due to technical issues, hopefully it won't be held up for very long. We've been making amazing progress on it so far, but playing with the tenses gets quite tedious.

Excerpt )

Progress!

Sep. 24th, 2011 06:52 am
xhesika: (jazz hands!)


First page of edits on Bastian Freeman.

Microsoft word has an amazing system for edits, Kory was showing me over LS, and gave me a quick lesson in how to track changes and all that jazz. This should come in handy like crazy for Artemis.

Also talked to her about the possibility of recording a tutorial to explain all the nitty gritty of it. More on that later though, when it does happen we’ll have to give links.

In the meantime, I'm all extra excited about the editing sessions, everything is really coming together. The biggest issue right now is tenses. For the most part its written in past tense, but there are some spots where it needs to be in present to not ruin the ending (it makes sense when you read the whole thing, I swear).
xhesika: (Caspius Van Dean)
An excerpt, still needs a little work, but the dialogue sums up a lot about Artemis as a character.

Closing in on the final chapter, although I still feel leery of it for some reason despite it being something I think about constantly. I just can’t seem to type when I actually get to it.

Read more... )
Meanwhile, Rei's standing in the corner, feeling VERY uncomfortable.
xhesika: (changed my mind)
What I find that I like most is how deceptive it is. For the entire Bastian Freeman book the reader has no idea who the bad guy is, and now in the David Johnson part the reader watches the bad guys run circles around the good guys and you never really know who is behind it all. I don't intend to make it clear until the third, Gale DeWinter, about who exactly is responsible for what.

As I write more and more I'm finding that I can't wait to write Gale DeWinter's part. The whole third installment will be tragic flashbacks of Gale's relationship with Ritz (already a racy topic in both books prior), Mary, Marley, and Adam (who looks like he's going to be a major part in the second installment as well).

But Gale as a character is still forming, he doesn't show up much in the first book, just enough to scare the hell out of Bastian and make an impression on Jenna. I also don't plan on letting the reader in on too much of his personality when he's narrating. Gale will be professional and frank, every three chapters telling about a chapter in his past. I can't stress how much I'm looking forward to the racy flapper innuendo.

Read more... )

Belladonna lillies. Ah the implications. I love that Ritz not only kept them this whole time, but she left them on Gale's desk, what a slap in the face, the relationship between Ritz and Bastian is looking more and more like an affair. Just like it should.

Throwing myself into Ritzko right now seems almost fitting, the darker storyline is just what I needed.
xhesika: (bambi)
Robbie will be going in for dental surgery soon supposedly. I say supposedly because I can't put much stock in anything his father says. Past experience tells me that I would be completely retarded to put much faith in him. Basically Robbie has a raging infection in his jaw, requiring the entire side needing to be pulled out and replaced with an implant or something. The way it looks he wouldn't need this in the first place if he had gotten braces or even the basic healthcare when he was younger. You know. Because when you work in the military you can't get coverage for your family...

I talked to my sister the other night and she is on bed rest after getting her tonsils removed. Of course basically she told me what was going on with her relocation. She doesn't want to leave Hawaii because her boyfriend is going to be staying there, her original relocation point was going to be with a unit that would be getting deployed to Iraq within two months of her getting there. So she talked to the woman who gave the order and supposedly she'll be going to somewhere along the border of Texas and Mexico. Of course she doesn't want to go so she's faced with the option of talking to her Sargent (who can only really just ask for her again), or flat out refusing and not being allowed to re-join the military once her contract is up, barring her from a career in the military.

So the whole thing has her upset to the point where she hates her life right now, which was strange to hear from her as she's usually very happy with her choices It put things into a different perspective for me. Of course when I told Robbie he had other thoughts about it, mostly she's in the military, if they say jump, you ask how high. I'm lead to wonder if she really understood this when she enlisted, or if she even understands how the economy is outside of the military.

I considered sending her a copy of Bastian Freeman, the same one that Kat and I are working on the final editings. THANKFULLY Kat reminded me of the biggest reason why I don't allow Emily to read any of my writings, and I was happy that I never offered it to her. I don't even think she remembers the reason, the trouble is that I do, and I remember the issues with my writing that were hard to overcome because of it.

I got on FB today and noticed that Tammi was going offline. Not deactivating her account, just not using it for a while. At first I thought it was because her ex was giving her trouble again, however when I tried to give her a call she sent me a rather exasperated text, leading me to worry about her a little more. I know things haven't been the best for her lately, and I wish that I could help, but at this point I can't even bring myself to ask Robbie to take me to c-bus for a week to sort my thoughts because we really can't afford it.

I feel even more like I ought to be down there.
xhesika: (tealfashion)
So between now and the last time I gave an actual update:

1. My friend Kat's computer crashed, she sent it to us and we fixed it. The only thing wrong was that she had somehow gotten a virus from big fish games and it FRIED her hard drive. So we got her a new one and then I loaded up her lappy with games, Sailor Moon, Labyrinth, and many other essentials.

2. Some days I feel discouraged with Artemis, at this point I KNOW that it's going to be impossible for me to jump back into it. I'm going to have to work on short stories and read over the whole story before I make another attempt at writing the last chapter. The good news, and I don't know if I put this up here yet, but I found a binder with the original Book 2! Meaning the only thing I am missing now IS the final chapter of Book 1, then I will be back to where I was before the move.

3. Got a very promising lead on a job, but I don't want to divulge the details too soon, I don't want to jinx it and have it fall through.

4. Working on the Ritzko Project, the goal at this point is to be able to send out signed copies of the first book as Christmas presents. Meaning more it has to be done by November so that I can start NaNoWriMo.

Full plate for the time being, but at least I'm feeling more validated.
xhesika: (Caspius Van Dean)
Simply put, my writing has been suffering since losing so much of the book, and as I have been unable to write much in the way of the actual storyline, the best place to see the change is in the short stories.

For example the short story Of Sheets, when I planned it out it was supposed to take place right before Valerie's rise, and was supposed to be an exercise in writing something intimate since Artemis and Kamen seem to dart around it CONSTANTLY, but the reader gets from the context that there's something going on in the Haven.

My plan sort of back fired, they're talking, Kamen voices his own disapproval of the current state of politics, and, per usual, they begin to bicker:

The Feud: )

Now from here my plan was to turn it around and start working on things you never actually see in the book, BUT it quickly plummets, and next thing I know Artemis is going into crazy/depressed mode and I just feel awful for Kamen:

Then it sort of falls off... )

The line about sunflowers and then the one about ambrosia kills me a little inside.

But there you have it, my writing is suffering and so I've started the Ritzko Project in an attempt to work back up to it. So far it's working, I at least feel up to writing, and I even opened up Artemis after a session with Ritzko because I felt better about it. I'm pretty sure Artemis is cursed in some way or other, but I don't plan on giving up on it any time soon.

Speaking of misfortune with Artemis, one of my main editors (I think actually my only editor on the project at this point) lost use of her computer. Basically it died in a great display of fire, ash, lightning, and divine retribution--without the fire, ash, lightning, and divine retribution. I've been trying to work with her to get her computer back on track, but I'm failing quickly. I didn't even realize until she said it that she had lost all the editing she had done on it. It was weird, it didn't even hurt. I think I'm numb on that front
xhesika: (cooking gaga)
David Johnson: Chapter Five )
xhesika: (tealfashion)
My last day at work is this Tuesday.

The power will shut off on Thursday.

I put Artemis on hiatus. I've been unable to write on it, I keep getting caught up on the fact that I lost so much of it, and I can't seem to get back into the writing groove. So I decided to make a sequel to Ritzko...rather three sequels. I re-named the first book The Final Comission of Bastian Freeman, and the whole series will be called the Ritzko Project. Each of the books will be in the same style as the first, but from another perspective. The second from Johnson's, the third from Gale, and the fourth from Jenna.

In the first sitting I was able to push out 13 pages, and it was strange, but after writing that I felt almost like I might be able to do some work on Artemis. So I opened up the document and although I was unable to write anything, its comforting that the feeling is coming back.

With that being said, Emily is back in town this week. I admittedly am using the move as an excuse to not see her because I still do associate her with anything bad that happens to Artemis after she vandalized the very first copy beyond repair. I've gone over my history with writing with Kory on Livestream and Skype several times, and its interesting how I'm noticing how fucked up it's been after I put everything out there. How somehow I manage to continue with something I like after Emily tears it all apart, and my Mother patronizes me at the dinner table...

The trouble with this is that I won't be able to spend much time with Samm before I leave.

It was the last night with some of the girls tonight. There are certainly a few I will miss, but there are a lot of them that I won't miss at all, and I don't expect to be missed by many in return...I don't really know a nice way to say it, but I almost feel indifferent. I'll miss connecting with patients.

Plans for a movie night with Tammi and the kids tonight, I've practically been living there for the past few weeks on my day off. The Haven is no longer the Haven, Robbie and I are on the move.

Ugh, I agreed to a dinner with my family at 6 tonight, hopefully it doesn't drag on too long tonight...and hopefully I don't get too sick from seeing Emily. I know it isn't her fault. I just never forgave her for that, and now I almost blame her for everything bad that happens to my writing...
xhesika: (cereal)
...but am too nice to tell them to STFU.

While this actually includes a lot of my current co-workers--a rather large lot actually--I'm talking about the mother of one of my childhood friends. We never really hit it off and the bad foot was set in stone by a dinner discussion when I was over at the house at a much younger age than now. She basically sat at the dinner table, laughed, and called my beliefs stupid. Mind you the belief was purely based on my irrational fear of needles and I was dead set to never get my hepatitis shots. I have since then gotten them, just because of the line of work I have gotten into with the past year and a half, but the fact that she would react that way to an impressionable child...whatisthisidonteven.

Speaking of, Kyle has tried to get in touch with me on more than once occasion within the past week. I guess he's finally realizing who his friends were. Too bad he's already treated everyone like shit and now no one will give him the time of day. I wonder if he noticed me avidly deleting his comments from my page? His call was certainly one of the few I make sure to screen on my phone.

I would like to invite anyone and everyone to watch my life if I should ever have children. As my friend Kory pointed out as we were skyping while I took care of Tammi's youngest (Landyn), my parenting is going to be David Bowie and Labyrinth at 2 am; poptarts, chips, and pink lemonade at 3 am, and if you sneeze/cough shake it off, and as always, if you don't make the international sign for choking I will not save you.

Well maybe not the last part for kids under 18, but the rest of you can fuck yourselves.

...I'm doing so much better at being a bitch, right?

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xhesika

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