Lately....

Apr. 15th, 2012 09:35 pm
xhesika: (cereal)
So, I never got a call back from Kerry about appointments. I really don't think I'd have the strength to start over with another, but at the moment I'm doing surprisingly well in keeping calm.

Robbie on the other hand actually crawled into bed the other day and said he missed when it was just us.

I guess he's been on edge. On edge enough to scream at one of the neighbors who was asking for money.

Is it bad that I love when he's feisty like this? Not on edge but just IDGAF? It's cute....

Famished

Apr. 10th, 2012 06:32 am
xhesika: (cereal)
I wouldn't say I'm a picky eater.

Last night was the first real food I'd had in two days. Two full days. My day off was wasted by trying to eat cheetos and having to sleep off a tummy ache that struck not once but twice.

Rob's mom is home, and that means she does the cooking. I wouldn't mind so much because she also does the cleaning, and I do hate dishes with a passion.

The trouble is she can't cook.

I would be understanding if it were something really strange. But its not. Its the normal stuff burned and dry and disgusting. She got a box of panko. I thought she was going to finally make porkchops right. Normally she just cuts off all of the fat on the porkchop and throws it into a skillet and fries it. No oil, no salt, no butter, no nothing. So panko I was thinking YAY. Turns out she used the panko on mac and cheese in the oven. I don't like mac and cheese in the oven, Never. Mac and cheese is supposed to be gooey soft warm and delicious and cheeeeeeesy. Not hard and dry and bland.

Also, I had heard people at work say they don't like cooking chicken  because they don't like it dry? I've never been able to make chicken and not have it soft and tender and juicy. In the meantime, robbie brings me in a piece of chicken from dinner and feeds it to me in bed and I can't stop choking on it.

IDK.

I have added soup at hand thingies and a ton of instant ramen to the stash under the bed so I can get some nutrients on my days off and before I go to work. Thinking about it now I probably should have picked up more of the soup cups.

I need to cook soon I think. I miss stir frys and tonkatsu and rice dinners.

Columbus

Nov. 4th, 2011 09:15 pm
xhesika: (cooking gaga)
After visiting the hospital tonight I've realized a few things about the spot I'm at right now.

I'm in a position where I have been able to do the thing I love and be supported by someone I love. I may go nuts and bored and want a job every now and again, but in the end I'm very happy with being able to write like I love to.

So we're in C-Bus for the weekend, Robbie is leaving tomorrow to go further south for a few days, I meanwhile am staying in the city to visit with family and friends. When we return to Waterford we have the luxury of having the house all to ourselves. We did shopping before leaving, so I am extra interested in all the delicious things that I am going to cook.

Also, 10k into my NaNo project, Gale, and suddenly the story is deviating into much more passionate territory than I had originally planned. I guess I'll never be able to completely control my characters.

Also also, am I the only one who truly believes that FB needs to come down? I know ANON rumors are all over, but it would be nice to show the larger corporations and bigwigs that people in general can still twist the screws.
xhesika: (tealfashion)
I had another interview tonight, this time at meijer's, in a different department than Robbie, but that was what I wanted anyways. Also not a cashier position, so yay. It went well, Robbie came home for lunch and said that Steph, the manager had stated that I'm pretty much a sure thing for the job, they just have to wait for my background check to come back and get me set up with one last interview as a formality.

So yay!

In the meantime, NaNoWriMo is coming up. Originally I had planned to try for a book with seven chapters, basically about a motel through 7 days of the week and the people who stay there. So more of a compilation of interwoven short stories. I have since changed my mind. David is going to be finished by November, I've got the ending worked out in my mind and the plots for the next book in place. I plan on moving on to Gale for NaNoWriMo.

I'm excited to do this, I can't remember ever reading a book from the villain's POV.

In the meantime I think Bastian may be under control, or getting back under control. Things are looking up, but the publication has still been pushed back to after the new year, which is okay with me.

Looking to go to C-Bus on the 5th and 6th of November as well. Robbie is going further south to see friends, and I'mma be crashing at my parent's for those days and visiting with my sister. I need to give Tammi a call so I can crash and give her the presents I've been collecting for her, LOL.

I love that Robbie listens to just as much Maroon 5 as I do...for slightly different reasons, but still!
xhesika: (Utena)
I have an interview with Charming Charlie tomorrow. I am extra excited, and so happy that a store I loved so much is coming to the area. Even moreso that I have finally gotten a call back from the sites and sites of applications I exhausted.

Tucker is incredibly sick, the steroid shot he was given the first time he went to the vet wore off and apparently weakened his immune system. He was veggy-like for a few days (poor thing) and has started to perk up after all the antibiotics we've been giving him. Persephone has been staying away from him and treating him like a leper.

I believe that Robbie has started to really miss the city. He's expressed that he's tired of the same routine, of course when I ask him what he would like to do when he comes home from work, he has no idea. Which to be honest, is because there is nothing.

I have been surviving with my writing, and have actually started a dA account for porn. No, it is in no way associated with my main account, so you'd be lucky if you ever find it.

Back to writing porn for now.
xhesika: (She Won't Look at You)
Robbie took me for coffee this morning, then we drove around.

We went looking at houses mostly, the nice ones, big houses that you'd like to fill for Christmas.

I don't know what happened. It never happened before, but I started feeling absolutely terrible, achy throat and welled up eyes terrible, and at first I didn't know what was wrong, at first I didn't understand why I was so upset all of a sudden doing something I used to like. I broke down once or twice, Robbie was completely confused, and I know I cry a lot these days and he's probably seen more than his share of it.

I talked about my grandparents a little. Memories of things we used to do when I was little and they had the house in Findlay.  Stargazing with my grandma. My grandpa's very recent stroke, that made me cry again.

Eventually I understood why I was so upset over the houses. Before, no matter how extravagant it was, nothing seemed out of reach. Not a million dollar home, not the world, anything was possible. Now I don't feel that hope, and no matter how many times I told myself, "finish writing your books, finish editing, get back on track" nothing seemed to help.

When I did figure out what made me upset, Robbie had me tell him, and I think he liked the reason even less than me actually crying.

I think I may actually need an anti-depressant of some sort. I may need to actually seek help about this, because I can't seem to pull myself out of this. I just keep snuggling up in bed and crying over sections of Artemis.

I think right now it helps even less that Robbie keeps throwing out completely Covington phrases.
xhesika: (tealfashion)
Kso, today Robbie's Dad had supposedly set up an appointment for their cat to see the vet. He lied. Then used the excuse that he didn't have the number despite it being just at the end of the street and therefore something he would pass every single day.

So I eventually cool off of this because we were supposed to go to olive garden for lunch, then to the cider mill.

We all get into the car and find that Robbie and I have been lured out of the house under false pretenses. Robbie's Dad wanted chinese so we were going for chinese instead, despite his mom constantly reminding him that Robbie and I had just had chinese the night before. Normally i wouldn't turn down chinese, but I really wasn't feeling it, especially after thinking about olive garden, I think Robbie was a bit more irked about it because, well, olive garden was his favorite and he was pretty psyched about it.

So they went to chinese and Robbie and I went and had a drink at the bar next door. Rum and coke, nothing special, and the chick at the bar was nice enough to give me a couple of job leads which i will def be looking into.

After that his parents apparently had to pick up a book, the problem is that there are no bookstores in waterford or any of its surrounding towns. I shit you not. They tanked with the economy and apparently "book learning" isn't something they're big enough on for major companies to bother with. I really wish I was kidding on this front, but I promise that it isn't just my cinicism.During the time that they were scouring the scooby-doo ghost town mall for a bookstore, Robbie had some pizza at the food court.

Which leads us to now, we ended up just heading home because Robbie isn't feeling well, and he says it isn't pain which is weird because he didn't take any pain meds this morning (the only reason why he opted for a drink), and the things he had to eat were the onion/cheese/ham rolls that I ate as well, and the pizza at the mall which I also ate. I'm thinking he caught something at work because I don't really know what else would make him feel so out of sorts. Except for being up with the sun, which I will admit, makes me feel really weak and strange after being nocturnal for weeks.

So, keeping an eye on him while I wait for my package. I had to order a few shirts and a coat from wet seal, the store just doesn't exist up here and the prices everywhere are gorged to hell. What's worse is that the long-sleeved shirts I have are getting holes in the elbows and when I thought about it I realized that I have had these since before I started dating Robbie.

C'est la vie.

Fambly

Sep. 15th, 2011 12:13 am
xhesika: (Utena)
My family came up to see us. I feel much better after talking with my Mom, I'm certain at this point that things will get 100% better when Robbie and I move away from his parents. The trouble is work, there is nothing here and I'm not getting any calls back from anyone.

Of course apparently Robbie's dad was under the impression that I never apped to the store that he thought was a sure thing. He was a bit floored when I told him that I handed my app to the owner and the one he supposedly had the "in" with.

ANY-who, it was nice to get out and do things with them while they were here. We went to lunch and then went to play puttputt.

Samm is moving into her dorm on Sunday, meaning she'll be farther away, but hopefully she'll be on skype more.

Ah, its an Utena and Artemis sort of night.

Spazz

Sep. 13th, 2011 11:09 pm
xhesika: (Utena)
I have been one lately. Most prominently with the whole issue of the kids. Seems like the calm I try so hard to keep is just getting shaken up.

Yesterday was a [very] belated birthday celebration-y thingy for Robbie, and we ended up going over to see the kids. I got to show Andrew how much progress I made in Minecraft (I got even farther after.) and got to say hi to Ryan before we left.

My parents and Samm come tomorrow. I can't cry in front of them, just can't do it. Of course when planning things to do for the day I couldn't help but freeze a little. There really isn't anything out here. Robbie and I have seriously gone out to Summerset Mall to play on the moving sidewalks before.

Idk, we'll just play it by ear.

Persephone is allergic to flea collars and waterless bath.... Her neck is healing from the reaction, I'm keeping her pretty pink collar off for a little so that she can heal up properly, but I'll probably put it back on her for tomorrow.

I'm coming to terms with the idea that Robbie's dad doesn't mean to be an ass, he's just too doped up to know better. Of course the surgery that could save his life he won't get, and my prediction of him being 100% wheelchair bound by next summer is looking like I should have bet money on it, and a large amount. At this point anything he says or does should be immediatly discarded. Still, it was weird for Robbie to say something in the car with a grimace and me justify it. Used to be the other way around.

I think I may waste the night watching remastered Utena.
xhesika: (hero)
I finally talked with Robbie about how I had been feeling, I know he didn't want to hear it. I'm sure he hated it more when I told him that I had been thinking about it for awhile, and to tell the truth I'm still thinking about it.

I apped for a job at Meijers, its all I really could do at this point. I've gotten zero callbacks from the places I apped, and the place that Robbie's dad assured us would be a "sure thing" fell through completely.

The truth is that I'm feeling completely defeated. Feelings that I haven't felt in years.

My parents and Samm are coming up this Wednesday, and I just know that Samm is going to take one look and ask how I manage to live here. To tell the truth I don't know. Every bit of this place kills me.

I hate that I'm going to have to have another talk with Robbie.

And I hate that it seems like it just took one thing to make me feel terrible about everything. I feel completely unwelcome, and I realize I'm only here for Robbie.

Birthday.

Sep. 4th, 2011 05:02 am
xhesika: (HaloThar)
Today is Robbie's 28th birthday.

Of course he's been bringing home roses and presents for me the past few days, so I'm convinced that he's confused on how all of this is supposed to work.

when we found out when the surgery is supposedly going to be he had me tell him exactly what his birthday plans were. I don't know that it was the best idea because I think he's only just now starting to feel the impact of his Grandmother's death. Of course I was going to take him on a picnic to her grave. Sounds weird I know, but it has some meaning for us.

He came home for lunch at 2 in the morning, just a few hours ago, completely upset and depressed. It either has to do with his grandma, him being harassed at work (ugh, don't even get me started), or he's actually missing the city life.

I will have to work extra hard to cheer him up today.
xhesika: (bambi)
Robbie will be going in for dental surgery soon supposedly. I say supposedly because I can't put much stock in anything his father says. Past experience tells me that I would be completely retarded to put much faith in him. Basically Robbie has a raging infection in his jaw, requiring the entire side needing to be pulled out and replaced with an implant or something. The way it looks he wouldn't need this in the first place if he had gotten braces or even the basic healthcare when he was younger. You know. Because when you work in the military you can't get coverage for your family...

I talked to my sister the other night and she is on bed rest after getting her tonsils removed. Of course basically she told me what was going on with her relocation. She doesn't want to leave Hawaii because her boyfriend is going to be staying there, her original relocation point was going to be with a unit that would be getting deployed to Iraq within two months of her getting there. So she talked to the woman who gave the order and supposedly she'll be going to somewhere along the border of Texas and Mexico. Of course she doesn't want to go so she's faced with the option of talking to her Sargent (who can only really just ask for her again), or flat out refusing and not being allowed to re-join the military once her contract is up, barring her from a career in the military.

So the whole thing has her upset to the point where she hates her life right now, which was strange to hear from her as she's usually very happy with her choices It put things into a different perspective for me. Of course when I told Robbie he had other thoughts about it, mostly she's in the military, if they say jump, you ask how high. I'm lead to wonder if she really understood this when she enlisted, or if she even understands how the economy is outside of the military.

I considered sending her a copy of Bastian Freeman, the same one that Kat and I are working on the final editings. THANKFULLY Kat reminded me of the biggest reason why I don't allow Emily to read any of my writings, and I was happy that I never offered it to her. I don't even think she remembers the reason, the trouble is that I do, and I remember the issues with my writing that were hard to overcome because of it.

I got on FB today and noticed that Tammi was going offline. Not deactivating her account, just not using it for a while. At first I thought it was because her ex was giving her trouble again, however when I tried to give her a call she sent me a rather exasperated text, leading me to worry about her a little more. I know things haven't been the best for her lately, and I wish that I could help, but at this point I can't even bring myself to ask Robbie to take me to c-bus for a week to sort my thoughts because we really can't afford it.

I feel even more like I ought to be down there.
xhesika: (tealfashion)
So between now and the last time I gave an actual update:

1. My friend Kat's computer crashed, she sent it to us and we fixed it. The only thing wrong was that she had somehow gotten a virus from big fish games and it FRIED her hard drive. So we got her a new one and then I loaded up her lappy with games, Sailor Moon, Labyrinth, and many other essentials.

2. Some days I feel discouraged with Artemis, at this point I KNOW that it's going to be impossible for me to jump back into it. I'm going to have to work on short stories and read over the whole story before I make another attempt at writing the last chapter. The good news, and I don't know if I put this up here yet, but I found a binder with the original Book 2! Meaning the only thing I am missing now IS the final chapter of Book 1, then I will be back to where I was before the move.

3. Got a very promising lead on a job, but I don't want to divulge the details too soon, I don't want to jinx it and have it fall through.

4. Working on the Ritzko Project, the goal at this point is to be able to send out signed copies of the first book as Christmas presents. Meaning more it has to be done by November so that I can start NaNoWriMo.

Full plate for the time being, but at least I'm feeling more validated.

Persephone

Aug. 15th, 2011 12:55 am
xhesika: (She Won't Look at You)
has been drinking a lot of water. I know the dish we used to have was considerably larger than this one, but still, I'm refilling this every night and then she goes and guzzles as much as she can down.

So I did some research and it looks like it could be cause by some serious problems, anywhere from a UTI to kidney failure to diabetes--which I am NOT okay with. Of course when I talked to Tammi about it she brought up that it could be stress related and diet changes and the like, which isn't too far fetched, the past two weeks is the first in a long time where's she's--we've lived in one place. I noticed her coat is looking more brown than usual and her tail isn't as fluffy as it used to be, so the stress is definitely there.

Of course Robbie and I can't afford to take her to the vet just yet, but as soon as we can i want to take her for a check up, it'll be the place she went to when we first got her as a kitten too, so that will be nice. I just hope we don't get some awful news, I don't want to lose another cat.
xhesika: (Default)
The first week we were here was taken up mostly by the trip up to Oscoda, which I did take many nice nature-y pictures which I will have to upload onto FB or put in an LJ cut. The picture quality on my new phone is much nicer than the last I had (which I did expect), but what made my day was the fact that despite us forgetting the internet MiFi verizon adapter, I still had internet wherever I got a cell phone signal, so I was able to keep in touch with people through texts.

I got my fishing license, I caught a fish, I learned how to clean a fish, but we couldn't eat them because they had lots and lots of worms. I also shot of a few guns, and I decided that my aim is terrible and I need something with little to no kickback, or a LOT of aim practice.

The night before last we managed to get Ryan over here for the night because Robbie needed to stay up to get his schedule back on track for work. Robbie fell asleep several times, but Ryan and I stayed up the whole night playing games. I also got re-situated with a copy of the Sims 2, which will be a nice outlet for a while (I'll get to why in a few).

So Ryan is grounded, and after talking with him for a little I'm actually more surprised that he isn't more grounded. He has a lot of self control for having to deal with everything that is going on with him right now, I don't think his dad really sees it, but I'm not a parent and I have no right to say anything really, but I do think that if Rick and Teresa knew what was going on they would have a lot more to say to their other children.

So about the MiFi really quick. It has a limit on kB/sec. MEANING, I can't skype call, I can't torrent, and I can't LiveStream here. In order to do any of those I need to go to Rick and Teresa's (who have wonderful internet BTW) and I feel rather awkward to go there and pull out my lappy. But w/e. Robbie has talked to his dad about adding internet onto his coverage and paying the difference, the problem is that it's satellite and will probably be buggy, but it's something.

About yesterday, being unemployed has started to set in, and me, with my already quite obvious issue with being useful, started to feel like crap...to the point where I wore myself out crying and then cried myself to sleep. It doesn't help that any of the things that I used to do to get myself out of a rut were impossible to do. And I'm getting teary just now thinking about it. There's no tea salons, no Samm to run around with, no skyping, I am feeling trapped. And to top it off I'm dreaming again. But no dreams with Morpheus, that might have been a comfort, I get the strange cryptic kind.

Of course regardless of the fact that I spent the last year and a half taking care of crazy patients and families of people who were dying, I am apparently not considered experienced in customer service and retail, so any job I apply for I don't have much hope in getting. This of course hasn't stopped me from applying anywhere I can. I really did have my eyes set on the new Charming Charlie, but I doubt I'll get a call from them. I just have to wait for some kind of response.

Robbie did have a good first day at work, he got out on time regardless of them being understaffed by 3 people, and said that the labor was handled much differently than it was in C-Bus. His shift isn't forced to do the work of the other shifts, and if they are running short the management isn't worried about conditioning to give the illusion of the shelves being full, they just want the product up there. So Robbie came home laughing and we talked for a while and then I looked at the clock (which at the time read 730 or so) and I told him that the people in C-Bus were probably still hard at work.

I just want a job, something to occupy myself with. Sims 2 will get old quick. I think I may pull out my paints and canvas today. We're supposed to go meet with the owner of the small grocery store down the street today, hopefully that will bring some good news.

The Move

Jul. 30th, 2011 12:03 am
xhesika: (She Won't Look at You)
They will be here tomorrow by 11a supposedly to help us get everything packed into the van.

I have this irrational fear that I will die away from my bright city life, but I think it would be worse away from Robbie. Just got to hang in there and figure something out, got to get my shit in print and open up my options.

Ready or not, here I come.
xhesika: (tealfashion)
My last day at work is this Tuesday.

The power will shut off on Thursday.

I put Artemis on hiatus. I've been unable to write on it, I keep getting caught up on the fact that I lost so much of it, and I can't seem to get back into the writing groove. So I decided to make a sequel to Ritzko...rather three sequels. I re-named the first book The Final Comission of Bastian Freeman, and the whole series will be called the Ritzko Project. Each of the books will be in the same style as the first, but from another perspective. The second from Johnson's, the third from Gale, and the fourth from Jenna.

In the first sitting I was able to push out 13 pages, and it was strange, but after writing that I felt almost like I might be able to do some work on Artemis. So I opened up the document and although I was unable to write anything, its comforting that the feeling is coming back.

With that being said, Emily is back in town this week. I admittedly am using the move as an excuse to not see her because I still do associate her with anything bad that happens to Artemis after she vandalized the very first copy beyond repair. I've gone over my history with writing with Kory on Livestream and Skype several times, and its interesting how I'm noticing how fucked up it's been after I put everything out there. How somehow I manage to continue with something I like after Emily tears it all apart, and my Mother patronizes me at the dinner table...

The trouble with this is that I won't be able to spend much time with Samm before I leave.

It was the last night with some of the girls tonight. There are certainly a few I will miss, but there are a lot of them that I won't miss at all, and I don't expect to be missed by many in return...I don't really know a nice way to say it, but I almost feel indifferent. I'll miss connecting with patients.

Plans for a movie night with Tammi and the kids tonight, I've practically been living there for the past few weeks on my day off. The Haven is no longer the Haven, Robbie and I are on the move.

Ugh, I agreed to a dinner with my family at 6 tonight, hopefully it doesn't drag on too long tonight...and hopefully I don't get too sick from seeing Emily. I know it isn't her fault. I just never forgave her for that, and now I almost blame her for everything bad that happens to my writing...
xhesika: (tealfashion)
I've been trying to think about what I did to soften the blow the last time I up and moved.

I've come to the conclusion that the last time that I did this, when I was moving up to Michigan to live with Robbie the first time, I was leaving a life that I wasn't really happy with. This time, despite everything that's happened, I realize that I really was happy. I really liked being stable. It wasn't like I was going from being stable to being unstable like I am now.

I guess I've come too far this time. Going to fall pretty hard I guess.
xhesika: (tealfashion)
I don't really know how to begin, so I'm just going to dive into it.

Everything has happened so fast, I just don't know how to react. Almost like I would rather go numb and let everything happen. everything just happens.

the funeral was lovely really. she was the first corpse I  saw that didn't look plastic. although i suppose its wrong of me to call her that. she found her blue outfit I suppose. the one i remember her looking for. with the small pink polka dots. the adema had gotten bad, she was rather puffy still.

on the way back from the funeral I agitated things, i told robbie i just couldn't move out of the city. i felt awful for saying it immediatly. with as many things that happened that day he really didn't need me to be wishy washy about the move.

i feel helpless.

we set things straight i suppose, the move is so far planned for july 27, but i have no problem in telling my job to bugger off before then if need be.

but the icing on the cake (or rather the cherry on top, as rob's grandmother's death was the icing), is that when we returned home there was no water. Not because the bill hadn't been paid, but because while we were gone someone broke into the other side of the double, turned off the water, and stole the copper piping.

my house isn't livable. and now i'm a nomad with my bag and my laptop, and a cat on a harness and leash that is living at my parent's house for the time being. that is until the dogs get to her like they tried to earlier.

and now i feel like i'm about to cry, but i just can't get to it. like too many things have happened and i really do just want to let go and curl into a ball and let robbie take care of me like he wanted to. but up north i'll be useless, with no job to help support us, and i still don't feel up to writing, what good am i?

i suppose it got around at work what happened. of course that is my fault, no one elses. I sat at the table and outright said that after the week i had, rob's grandmother's death was hopefully the end, and when they asked about the rest of the week i flat out told them. and they asked, and wondered, why hadn't i said anything before?

i saw a FB message when i logged on earlier today from someone wishing me well. that's all well and good, but i didn't tell anyone at work (save Cammy and Margo) what was going on when it was going on because I don't trust them. i spent the past year and a half putting myself out there and trying to make friends and became outright ostracized from everyone.

i tell myself constantly that i need to be more outgoing, that i need to pull myself out of my shell, but then i look back at all i've done and it frustrates me that I HAVE, I certainly have. But i just don't understand why. but i'm slightly glad all the same. i owe them nothing, no explanation, no thanks, no regrets. just pack up what little i have left and let robbie carry me away.

alright, i think i feel up to crying now.
xhesika: (tealfashion)
Was nothing short of a nightmare, and it looks like its going to bleed into this week.

My house was broken into on the 21st, my family was out of the state for that whole week. The computers were stolen and even though they decided to tear out the speakers, headphones, keyboards, and microphones, they decided that they should just take all the jump drives that had Artemis saved on them. I still have Ritzko, I suppose that's a blessing in disguise. Luckily I had emailed most of Artemis Book 1 to myself to read at work, so I will only have to rewrite the last chapter and the afterword.

I managed to get through work without breaking down in front of my coworkers, but to tell the truth I did have a patient that I found crying at 5 am and I ended up sitting with him and bawling my eyes out right next to him.

My boss has been amazing through everything, however I haven't told her yet that Robbie and I do plan on moving back to Michigan. We're waiting on his job to transfer and we've worked the budget to allow us to live on his salary alone for as long as we need to (while I'm unemployed). I have only told one of my coworkers what happened, and only because she had her house broken into last summer and I felt was the only one who really understood what I was going through. The others know nothing, and I don't plan on telling them anything until I leave, if then.

I stayed at Tammi's house one night, I'll probably do a lot of crashing there this coming week, what was a 6-day stretch of time off has become an 8-day stretch because guess what? To top off the week, Robbie's grandmother passed this morning around 4, and the worst part is that I don't have the strength to cry anymore, even when something really warrants tears. I know how close he was to her, when he said she was back in the hospital with her usual UTI CHF, I figured she would be right as rain and back home when we moved up there. So I work tonight and took vacation for the next two days. Hopefully I can pick up some time around the hospital in the stretch to save up money.

Penelope is still missing, and her sister is all out stressed and lonely now. She cries a lot, can't keep down food, I'm worried about the both of them. So we're taking Persephone up to Michigan with us for the funeral because we don't want to leave her alone for too long, she snuggled up to me for most of last night. I have faith still that we will find Penny, the biggest reason being that we have posters all over the damn place that offer a reward of $100 for her return, along with a picture of her. To be honest, she should be easy to spot, her fur is longer than any other stray, and her coloring is rather unique. It makes me feel better when I see people I've never met combing the area for her, calling out for her, $100 is a small price to pay for her if it gets her home. I know Robbie is lonely without her.

One of the only good things that happened this past week was when my sister came home from vacation and set right all of the mess between me and my parents, she then proceeded to buy me a new laptop, which I am typing this on right now. I'm in the midst of recovering my lost music, but it looks like I may have to wait a bit to get my Sailor Moon replaced, which kinda sucks because I could really use a good laugh right about now. Artemis Book 1 is in its own little folder on here, but I haven't put much work into finishing it yet. I'm still a little numb from the whole experience.

I guess I should start getting cleaned up for work? I have a few hours still, but there is packing to be done if I plan on leaving in the morning for Michigan for the funeral.

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xhesika

August 2012

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