xhesika: (tealfashion)
For the month of December I'm supposed to be taking a break from writing. I feel a little empty about it with all things considered, I've gotten into the habit of just tapping away at a document whenever I can that I feel strange not working on anything.

So instead I'm looking over the two books that I pushed out over the past two months. I decided to start with Gale since I seem to be in the swing of things. Well its going okay enough...but the more I look at this book the more I realize I wrote something completely heart-wrenching.

The basic idea of the book is to show how the villain became what he is, and ORIGINALLY the idea was that the biggest cause was the relationships Gale had with Marley and Mary, and how somehow it became warped into something with Adam...now looking at it, I think it was really Ritz. How awful.

It had been raining, something that I had long since shrugged off. I could not catch any illness from the rain, it was merely the smallest of hindrances, but Renée came out of her small apartment with an umbrella as if I were about to fall over.

“Monsieur DeWinter, you will catch your death!” She rushed over to me with the umbrella, coughing on her own the entire way over to me in the downpour.

“If only.” I said slowly. She smiled at me, and I could not help but smile back, happy that she seemed to have either forgiven me or forgotten entirely about our conversation the night prior. Either way, I was glad that she was not cross with me. “I am melting,” I managed.

“I can see that.” She took my arm and began to pull me towards her door.

“Not in the physical sense.”


It's sweet, adorable, Gale's been shut off from most everything up until this point in his life and now he's slowly experiencing emotions and is wonderfully unaware of how to show them or relay them to others. So Ritz saves him, right? Gives him a new lease on life, right?

I'm bordering more now on the idea that Ritz damned him. With all the running around the world the two do in trying to stay away from Marley and Mary, Gale ends up becoming even more twisted. So I now look at this story as something awful and tragic, how Gale and Ritz become hardened and manipulative.

I knew this was going to happen, I don't think I ever saw the story THIS way though.

When I wrote Bastian a year ago I didn't mean for my characters to become this complex...I think that's why I didn't care much for it then.
xhesika: (Default)
Gale excerpts below, trigger warnings: blood, gore, vivisection, abuse, necromancy, I'm going to go ahead and say sexual content as well since some of the descriptions get pretty racy.

The relationship between Gale and Ritz has a nice start, but it quickly becomes...unhealthy, I'm just waiting to be ridiculed for writing this book.

To make it worse my mind has been in very dark places during the entire month of November because of this, I am seriously reconsidering my December endeavor.

Here we go... )
xhesika: (cooking gaga)
Over 11k and still going up, I'm weighing the best way to go about a book like this. I don't think I've ever read a book written from the perspective of the villain where they didn't repent or die by the end.

Belladonna )
In the meantime I press on with NaNoWriMo, I'm a few days ahead, but I don't want to fall behind at all. The trouble is that with what I'm writing I'm having to be very picky with my word choice to make sure that everything falls into plan.

Today was lovely though, and it's not over yet. Robbie left to go further south to see friends and I spent the day with Samm. I have eaten so much sushi down here I'm happier than a kitty.

In other news KiKi is beautiful and her tail is as fluffy as she is wide, I almost want to steal her.
xhesika: (She Won't Look at You)
I don't know if its my eyesight or what, but I've been losing focus a lot more often. I don't think its my eyesight, the biggest reason being that I immedietly start to daydream and its becoming harder and harder to snap out of.

What's worse is that it doesn't happen when I'm sitting doing nothing, its started to happen when I'm out walking around and doing stuff. Of course when it happens and I'm sitting down I feel like I need to not only close my eyes, but also need to shake myself out of it.

On another note, Morpheus came back. For some reason I still have long hair in my dreams.
xhesika: (changed my mind)
What I find that I like most is how deceptive it is. For the entire Bastian Freeman book the reader has no idea who the bad guy is, and now in the David Johnson part the reader watches the bad guys run circles around the good guys and you never really know who is behind it all. I don't intend to make it clear until the third, Gale DeWinter, about who exactly is responsible for what.

As I write more and more I'm finding that I can't wait to write Gale DeWinter's part. The whole third installment will be tragic flashbacks of Gale's relationship with Ritz (already a racy topic in both books prior), Mary, Marley, and Adam (who looks like he's going to be a major part in the second installment as well).

But Gale as a character is still forming, he doesn't show up much in the first book, just enough to scare the hell out of Bastian and make an impression on Jenna. I also don't plan on letting the reader in on too much of his personality when he's narrating. Gale will be professional and frank, every three chapters telling about a chapter in his past. I can't stress how much I'm looking forward to the racy flapper innuendo.

Read more... )

Belladonna lillies. Ah the implications. I love that Ritz not only kept them this whole time, but she left them on Gale's desk, what a slap in the face, the relationship between Ritz and Bastian is looking more and more like an affair. Just like it should.

Throwing myself into Ritzko right now seems almost fitting, the darker storyline is just what I needed.
xhesika: (Default)
The first week we were here was taken up mostly by the trip up to Oscoda, which I did take many nice nature-y pictures which I will have to upload onto FB or put in an LJ cut. The picture quality on my new phone is much nicer than the last I had (which I did expect), but what made my day was the fact that despite us forgetting the internet MiFi verizon adapter, I still had internet wherever I got a cell phone signal, so I was able to keep in touch with people through texts.

I got my fishing license, I caught a fish, I learned how to clean a fish, but we couldn't eat them because they had lots and lots of worms. I also shot of a few guns, and I decided that my aim is terrible and I need something with little to no kickback, or a LOT of aim practice.

The night before last we managed to get Ryan over here for the night because Robbie needed to stay up to get his schedule back on track for work. Robbie fell asleep several times, but Ryan and I stayed up the whole night playing games. I also got re-situated with a copy of the Sims 2, which will be a nice outlet for a while (I'll get to why in a few).

So Ryan is grounded, and after talking with him for a little I'm actually more surprised that he isn't more grounded. He has a lot of self control for having to deal with everything that is going on with him right now, I don't think his dad really sees it, but I'm not a parent and I have no right to say anything really, but I do think that if Rick and Teresa knew what was going on they would have a lot more to say to their other children.

So about the MiFi really quick. It has a limit on kB/sec. MEANING, I can't skype call, I can't torrent, and I can't LiveStream here. In order to do any of those I need to go to Rick and Teresa's (who have wonderful internet BTW) and I feel rather awkward to go there and pull out my lappy. But w/e. Robbie has talked to his dad about adding internet onto his coverage and paying the difference, the problem is that it's satellite and will probably be buggy, but it's something.

About yesterday, being unemployed has started to set in, and me, with my already quite obvious issue with being useful, started to feel like crap...to the point where I wore myself out crying and then cried myself to sleep. It doesn't help that any of the things that I used to do to get myself out of a rut were impossible to do. And I'm getting teary just now thinking about it. There's no tea salons, no Samm to run around with, no skyping, I am feeling trapped. And to top it off I'm dreaming again. But no dreams with Morpheus, that might have been a comfort, I get the strange cryptic kind.

Of course regardless of the fact that I spent the last year and a half taking care of crazy patients and families of people who were dying, I am apparently not considered experienced in customer service and retail, so any job I apply for I don't have much hope in getting. This of course hasn't stopped me from applying anywhere I can. I really did have my eyes set on the new Charming Charlie, but I doubt I'll get a call from them. I just have to wait for some kind of response.

Robbie did have a good first day at work, he got out on time regardless of them being understaffed by 3 people, and said that the labor was handled much differently than it was in C-Bus. His shift isn't forced to do the work of the other shifts, and if they are running short the management isn't worried about conditioning to give the illusion of the shelves being full, they just want the product up there. So Robbie came home laughing and we talked for a while and then I looked at the clock (which at the time read 730 or so) and I told him that the people in C-Bus were probably still hard at work.

I just want a job, something to occupy myself with. Sims 2 will get old quick. I think I may pull out my paints and canvas today. We're supposed to go meet with the owner of the small grocery store down the street today, hopefully that will bring some good news.
xhesika: (Default)
The house was robbed and they took my computer and flash drive.

I came home ALONE to everything gone and turned up-side-down. I have the first 50 chapters on my e-mail, but unless by some miracle we find they tossed a drive somewhere...I will either give up on Artemis or start the last 25 chapters from scratch. I don't even know right now.

To top it off one of the cats got out, she's still missing, and she's afraid of everything.

I'm at my parent's right now, they're away on a family vacation, and when I called them to ask them for help, I was met with no support at all. After talking with Robbie we decided that the best thing to do would be to save up enough to get us back to Michigan with his family. They immediately offered us a place to stay while we got back to our feet. Robbie is working on getting his job transferred, I would be starting from scratch with my school loans to pay...of course he keeps telling me that he'll support me for as long as he has to, even if I never go back to work.

All the sweet things make me cry even more.

At least I get internet on my phone, so my email is raintree.willow@gmail.com, my phone number is 614-580-4551. Text, call, email. It makes me even sadder that most of the people that I've been there for here aren't there for me. I'm lucky to have friends who live far away that I email, who listen to me, but I don't think I'll ever stop crying.

I feel like I'm living that moment of coming home over and over again.

Don't comment on here, I won't be checking my LJ for a LONG while.
xhesika: (cooking gaga)
I went to visit the friend's father. It was random happenstance. We usually visit him when we have an issue with the car, or if we're going to our chinese place (really I hang out with him more than I do the old friend). He's doing well, but I can't help but think he's forced into a lot of things he really shouldn't be. Seems almost like apathy is thrust upon him. Of three children, all of which ought to have their own places, only one is moved out and I wouldn't even call it that for certain. The oldest son is the only one who doesn't live there, but his three children spend most of their time there.

He's in the process of getting a new house despite renovating the one he's in now, its looking nice, the kitchens is all hand crafted cabinets and is gorgeous, but I have to wonder if its what he really wants or if its what he feels forced to do.

TBH I feel like his other two kids need to move the fuck out and let him and his wife have some time without them.

I think if he lost everything he would simply do his normal sigh and hang his head before going to the front porch for a cigarette. Then again, I've never seen him pushed to the edge, I don't think he has an edge, I think it might have been ground down by his wife.

Still I walked through the house almost apprehensive of it, worried that any moment the lights would flicker and when they returned the house would be ransacked. My imagination runs away with my paranoia.

Morpheus worries for nothing, he wouldn't hurt me, and he's never become that.

Wow, this is a judgmental entry.
xhesika: (cereal)
The other night I came close to a sex dream. Now Morpheus is all butt-hurt over me saying no. Of course they're just dreams so I'm not all that bothered, except that I think I've come close before and stopped it.

So I'm constantly shooting down the guy in my dreams.

Then there's also the thing where I keep thinking that the relationship is strictly platonic-friend-type, but I know he's kissed me before in the dreams.

So I'm constantly shooting down the guy in my dreams.

The Batman dream still makes me giggle.

Good Dreams

Apr. 6th, 2011 06:38 am
xhesika: (changed my mind)
My meeting on Wednesday went well, of course then I got home exhausted because I hadn't slept yet, and immediately had another dream. Now they're coming faster and more often, but I'm not scared anymore. I think I just needed someone to tell me it wasn't malicious.

So there's that, and then there's the rest of it. While its nothing bad and I was told that there is apparently no evil spirit around me at all, the woman I talked to does NOT think that this is anyone who has crossed over, or even an angel. Still not afraid though, of course the three dreams that I've had since last Wednesday were the usual Sisyphean tasks, but they weren't anything that made me wake up crying. They were more the Captain Hook sort.

That being said, I don't think I'll be posting many more dreams online here, they've become a little too personal to just throw out there unless I find them either particularly amusing or revelatory. I'm quickly finding that whatever it is that is invading my dreams is quickly becoming a friend.

Black Swan

Mar. 29th, 2011 08:09 am
xhesika: (She Won't Look at You)
That movie that was in theatres in 2010? It came out of DVD today, so I watched it. Or tried to.

I'm sure I'll make an attempt to watch the whole thing later, but its one of those things where I feel really REALLY awkward watching it in the daytime with Robbie.

About thirty minutes in Robbie gets up to unplug his own lappy, my eyes get all wide.

Robbie: "What?"
Me:  "I think they're abut to have sex?"
Robbie: "Oh shit."
Me: "This is too much right now."
Robbie: "Did you really just turn that off."
Me: "I don't even KNOW what I'm watching right now."
xhesika: (She Won't Look at You)
I have an appointment with Brenda Frazier this Wednesday, she was referred to me by someone at work, and although I know that interpreting dreams may not be her specialty, I feel like even if she can give me some sort of insight to the spirit world I'll feel a little less terrified of my dreams. Then there's also the worry that half an hour may not be enough, in which case I might actually make a second appointment if I'm satisfied with how she manages things.

Either way I know that I'm long overdue for seeing someone about these dreams, I shouldn't have waited for them to get so frequent. I'm just glad that the more creepy ones have died down, the whole ordeal with the Tiffany's and the swimming dream were a little too much for me.

I'm more worried that I'm drifting back into old habits and ways of thinking and I can't justify not. I guess some things are too private for even a journal that no one reads.

Another worrying revelation: she'll probably be able to sense my growing despondence.
xhesika: (changed my mind)
Dream 1:

I was part of an impoverished family, more children than would fit in this little house and yet I only saw one of them, just a toddler bumbling around without supervision, but apparently that was okay? I wasn't interested in him, or any of the family actually, I was more interested on this kit I had received. A kit to grow a tree.

So I plant the tree in the little pot that came with the kit and set the timer for 4 hours (because apparently this tree could grow to full size in 4 hours), so I went off to wander around in that time (I really wish I hadn't I kind of wanted to see it grow), and when I got back it was a fucking full-sized Christmas tree with little red poinsettia lights, each with a strange fruit on them, ripe and ready to be plucked. So I took one, but before I could eat it everyone was called into the front yard.

My dream family got fucking evicted. Really? How lame. So we go on this journey down a dirt road surrounded by cornfields to search for a new home. (So now I'm a hobo)

We get to the city, but the city is a building, one big circular building reaching up a hundred stories, however it's been sliced down the middle and half of it is shrouded in black curtains, just like in one of my earlier dreams.

We split up, need to meet back in a few hours, but for now I'm allowed to go off on my own. I know where I want to go, and I dart to the shrouded area.

It's a jungle. There is literally a jungle behind the curtain and almost immediately where I'm standing there's a mine cart on a track going upwards. Without a hesitating thought (maybe only a memory of going up the ladders in my earlier dreams) I jump into the car and begin my ascent, starting slow then going faster, pummeling through bramble and small pygmy towns, and before I know it CAPTAIN HOOK HAS JUST FUCKING JUMPED INTO THE CART WITH ME.

"Where we going?"

"Crazy I think."

"Sounds fun."

I swear we sped up, and I reach up to the front edge of the cart and hold onto it, Captain Hook is now bracing his hands on the sides, "Where's the break?"

"I think I lost it somewhere." I never actually had one.

"Of course."

We keep flying along the cart tracks and we take out all sorts of creature, nothing can withstand our roadkill powers, we even took out a herd of alligators. Then the track is on a river and we're about to be thrown over the waterfall, but the instant we go over the edge I'm back in the City building, flying--no plummeting--down the center and we crash into the other side.

So Captain Hook and I brush ourselves off and we have a formal introduction and that's when I notice it. Every single citizen of the city is an actor or actress. I saw Brad Pitt, Nicole Kidman, it just went on and on.

So Captain Hook is hungry, so we go to the food court type area thingy, and everyone is buying sandwiches. Ridiculously expensive sandwiches that really are only mayo and lettuce on wonderbread. So Captain Hook gets one but all I really want is water, so we settle into a little table, and Captain Hook starts making comments about random people who are passing. So the cast of Harry Potter is there, but the only one we're really watching is Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) who WILL NOT STOP picking his nose.

A kid comes over to our table and SPITS IN MY WATER. I'm completely appalled and pull my foot back when the kid goes to spit on my shoe. Then this whole ordeal becomes some messed-up chase around the table where he's trying to spit on me? I'm more terrified of this person than I understand and I slip. I'm bent over backwards on the table, Captain Hook has stood up and His appearance begins to change, just like it had in dreams before. The kid is holding me down onto the table, not going to spit, but just looking menacing.

He socks him. Square in the jaw. He's come back and He takes my hand and pulls me up, asking if I'm alright. My clothes have changed, I'm wearing some long sea-foam green coat-ish-duster-thing and I glance back at Rupert Grint and Emma Watson before, He pulls me out of that place by the hand and for some reason He looks desperate and worried.

Dream 2:

I've been watching waaay too many cartoons or something: I'm walking down the sidewalk of a cartoon setting, my purse in the crook of my arm and my phone open in my hands. I'm texting someone and I'm mad as hell. I have no idea what I'm so angry about , He's texting me back with nothing but apologies, but I have no idea what He's apologizing for.

[Chapter 50: Absolution was written after this, and all the old dialogue was opened up, I think that may have something to do with this.]

Dream 3:

I'm going on a date, very black and white, and I'm searching for my little black dress, but all I can find are these really tacky jeans. He's waiting downstairs, Samm is trying to keep Him occupied with conversation but I can feel His eyes drifting to the ceiling. After about 20 minutes of shuffling through clothes, I eventually say "Fuck it" and grab my skinny jeans and a t-shirt.

I jump down the stairs and walk out the door with Him and get into His car, we're driving along, I don't remember what we were talking about but I changed the topic:

"When I'm dead, will I be stuck in this place?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I die, what will happen?"

"It's oblivion, you don't want that."

"Then what is this?"

"A fashion nightmare."

"At least my jeans aren't made from a carpet."

He just started laughing, really hard, and I can't help but laugh too.


On the same note: I never got the call back from when I made the appointment, I can't say I blame her, I know that it's one of those things where you're allowed to be more selective on your clients. So I'm back to hunting for someone who can help me weed through all of these dreams and find out who this person is and more importantly, why they've been in all my dreams for the past two years.
xhesika: (Caspius Van Dean)
Texting dream officially makes sense to me. If I'm getting to a point in the story where one of the character's dialogue makes me want to cry and throw up at the same time it only makes sense that they apologize profusely in a dream.

None of the dialogue between Van Dean and Artemis is in the excerpt below, but it gives you a pretty good idea what bargains they're making. I'm leery of putting much of anything up on DA, or LJ at this point. The material certainly isn't as graphic as Chapter 50, but its crude and grim. Then there's the whole scene coming up where Van Dean does an excellent job of showing how serious he is over everything and I need to be careful with it or it could turn into another missing chunk of pages

Quid Pro Quo )
xhesika: (Caspius Van Dean)
I really, really don't like how I'm looking ahead to what needs to happen still in Book One and trying to tell myself, "No, Van Dean wouldn't do something that despicable." Then come to the realization that "yes, yes he would."

I feel sick just thinking about it.

It rather goes hand in hand with the dream I had only two nights ago, where I was angry. Really angry, but I didn't know why, and I was getting text messages on my phone from Van Dean and they were all apologies, but I had a hard time swallowing them.

Jesus, even looking back over the old dialogue between Artemis and Van Dean makes me want to cry, I was going to take it out but it's too heart-wrenching to slash.
xhesika: (Caspius Van Dean)
OR
Aesod Childrens Conservatory, Winter Play Number 23
OR
The Magic Yellow Bicycle With Rainbow Streamers

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD is sent to her GRANNY’s house by her mother the SNOW QUEEN to take food to her. LITTLE RED is accompanied by her friend/bodyguard the WOLF, and his boss PUSS IN BOOTS. Once at GRANNY’s gingerbread house, she offers countless sweets to the children and they devour them, and then asks where her dinner is. LITTLE RED whips off her cloak and reveals that SLEEPING BEAUTY has been asleep on her back for the entire play. The WOLF and PUSS immediately claim that they should be allowed to eat SLEEPING BEAUTY for payment of being LITTLE RED’s bodyguards, LITTLE RED makes the argument that she rescued SLEEPING BEAUTY from the tower before she ever hired WOLF and PUSS, and that she only hired them to take out the Prince if he ever showed up. An epic battle ensues between LITTLE RED and GRANNY against PUSS and WOLF. A GIANT comes out of nowhere and steps on the gingerbread house, killing them all instantly.

The moral of the story is: always share your toys.
xhesika: (Caspius Van Dean)
It's chilling enough without knowing what is going to happen. I love the way I feel when I write.

The entire chapter 46, spoilers galore:

They always had a rivalry, Van Dean just didn't know it. )

I lied.

Dec. 14th, 2010 10:02 am
xhesika: (changed my mind)
I thought my strange dreams were gone, and I was annoyed by this because I got no closure on them. "Regular" dreams returned, or as regular as they can get, they were strange, but without the same character as the others. Now I'm not so sure.

I had a dream yesterday.

I was in a swimming competition, and I had won the previous year (I suck at swimming, just throwing that out there), but this year I was out of shape, and the other girl was good. Really good.

It was a square pool, and we circled it, pressing a pad at each of the corners to clock our speeds. I don't know how many pads I hit, or how many times I was going around. I just swam, I couldn't breathe, but I couldn't stop. I just kept hitting the pads as I got to them. Then I began to notice that I was getting to the pads just a few seconds before the other girl. When I got to the last pad, I hit it and tore off my goggles just as the other girl hit it.

I looked around and everyone was just staring at me. Not cheering. I mean, I was pretty stoked, but I was the only one who felt that way.

I hopped up out of the pool and the judge threw a towel on my shoulders and asked me if I was hungry.  "I have to go." I said. "Where are you going?" He asked. "I have to go." I repeated.  "Lets get something to eat, to celebrate." He said.

The pool was in the parking lot of what almost looked like a Burger King, but as he opened the doors for me and I walked in, it seemed to melt into a VERY swanky restaurant, and I wasn't in my swimsuit and towel anymore.

I sat at the table and he handed me a menu. I opened it up and at first it was only pictures, pictures of all sorts of gorgeous and delicious looking foods, some pastas, a few seafood alfredos, and then a LOT of strange root and vegetable dishes. Roots I had never even heard of. The menu turned from only pictures to page after page full of words, only words describing the dishes, but I could still see them in my head.

Then the story was in the corner of the pages, a strange story I could almost swear I had heard before: a man goes on a journey to hell, for whatever reason, and rather than going the traditional way, he decides to swim the river Styx. He soon decides to let the river do the work, and lets himself drift downstream, taking multiple mermaids as wives, but each dies after only a short time. He then, after years of floating, finds a soul floating, stressed to the point of fading away, but he is drawn to it, and lifts her to the surface and takes hold of her, giving her the air she needs to keep going, and holding onto her so that whenever he gets out of hell, he will be able to take her with him.

After years of floating with the soul he has determined will be his new wife, he stumbles onto the shore in the living world, pulling her up with him, and finding that she was not just a soul, but another person swept under by the same current. He looks after her until she wakes, but when she wakes, he is heartbroken to find that her mind is fractured, and she moves from one object to the next, taking a little from each to the next. Like a bee. Just like a bee. And he stays with her, and swears that he will wait until her mind can see clearly enough to love him, and accept his love.

The whole time in the restaurant I'm reading this story, and trying to find something on the menu I want, but I'm just flipping through the pages, not really reading the whole menu, just random bits. A few words from one, then flipping to another page and reading a few words from another. The waiter is getting annoyed with how long it is taking me, and I feel terrible that I don't really have any idea what I'm doing or what I want, but I feel a sense of urgency that I can't place.

I peer above my menu at the judge, who is waiting patiently with a smile. And slowly, His appearance begins to change into someone I've seen before and even though it never changed completely before I woke up I somehow knew what it was going to be. And I had the fleeting thought before I woke up, that I had not been abandoned?



Somehow, this dream makes me more uneasy than the others. Not even just uneasy. I'm a little scared. Before, I never had strange dreams when Robbie was sleeping next to me, but that didn't seem to stop this one.
xhesika: (changed my mind)
I only reciently learned that people normally can't pick up where they left off with dreams, I've been doing it for years.

I was on the stairs. The stairs somewhere, they were made of brown tile and cold metal covers on the edges. These were not the stairs at my apartment. I'm in my pajamas. The pajamas I had worn that night, my pajamas change so often that I can barely keep up with them. Sitting on the stairs in my black lace cami and little black shorts with my back against the wall. I was feeling sluggish, I remember that much.

He was there, crouched on the same stair in front of me, much more intimate than he had ever been before, with a hand on my cheek and another on my waist. "You've been awful to me. Where have you been?" I couldn't say anything, I was surprised enough that the words were coming from Him. I couldn't speak at all, my mouth was dry, and I was just in the mood to do nothing but cry.

I don't know if I was happy to see him, or angry. I had conformed to the idea that I wasn't his type after the dream where I saved the child. I thought I wasn't dark enough for him. All I could do was shake my head.

His tone changed, "No, I've been awful." I think it was the first time He kissed me. I knew there was always the same sort of strange romance in every dream, every once in a while before He would touch my face, tousle my hair, but this was the first direct contact. And I felt it.

I woke up for a few seconds and touched my mouth, then immediately fell back to sleep.

I was shopping with Samm, the Tiffany's at Easton was the marker, the store next to it. A store I had never seen before. Full of knick-knacks, bohemian clothing, and jewelry. Two old ladies stood behind the counter, chatting amongst themselves, they didn't even seem to notice me and Samm at all. Samm didn't say much, she immediatly went to look at the clothing, and I picked up a small lavender dress and set it back down. One of the women glanced at me and gave me a strange look. I tried to ignore it and went to look at the knick-knacks.

They were mostly small pieces of jewelery and charms and as I looked through them for something simple one of the ladies stopped me and took me by the hand to the counter, "You won't find what you're looking for in there. You're not so simple. You're a diamond-and-emerald-girl."

The combination was odd to me. It still is and I need to look up what the two gems mean. I think I'm looking to hard into this but every dream I've had with Him in it is always laced with subliminal messages.

The woman couldn't find what she wanted and she went to the back, assuring me that she would find it, constantly muttering to her friend about diamonds and emeralds. Samm was still leafing through clothes. And as I looked at my surroundings, something caught my eye outside the glass storefront, a man with long white hair, going into the tailor across the street. With a final glance at Samm, I left her there, calling as I went, "I'll be right back."

It was a splendid coat; red, blue, and green paisley-ish and soft velvet with black lapels, reaching all the way down him, trailing a few inches on the floor. "Do you like it?" He didn't even need to see that it was me coming in the door to ask.

"It doesn't suit you. It's too colorful."

"Doesn't suit me? Would it suit me if I cut my hair, wore nothing but black, and beckoned you with songs?" This was the first time He ever referenced another dream, and I immediately knew which one He was referencing. The coat was warm and He helped me into it, it was huge on me, "It suits you less I think."

I don't remember how it happened, there were chairs set up in the room, filled with just shadows of people, all unrecognizable. He took me with both hands on my arms, the coat shrugged up around me slightly, He whispered to me, "Smile pretty for them."

The next few moments were a blur, I was flat on my back on the ground, being dragged by the train of the coat into water. Vast dark water. And another kiss. The heavy fabric of the coat pulled me down, but He pulled me back up just as easily. I woke up once he smiled.

Here's where it gets strange. As if it wasn't already.

I force myself back to sleep. I'm there. The Tiffany's at Easton. I can get my bearings from there. First the store, I dart in and scan it for Samm. I'm terrified that she won't be there, but she is, and she's looking at the exact same item I left her with.

The old woman at the counter beckons me over. She's Nancy, the nurse I work with at the hospital, but she doesn't recognize me from there though. She gives me a small box, "I found it! I know you're a diamond-and-emerald-girl but this is just as good. It's called silver crystal."

I open the box and I recognize it immediately. It's a swarovski crystal star on a little black ribbon. "I can't afford it."

"It's been paid for, a lovely gentleman with white hair."

I set it down immediately, and I ran out of the store, the tailor wasn't across the street this time, I turned the corner, it was down from the Tiffany's. I pushed into the room and the coat was there, sitting on the mannequin where it fit the best. I got the attention of the man at the counter, he didn't recognize me at all, "The man, the man who that was for, is he still here?"

"He's not here, he'll be here soon though."

"I'll wait. I need to speak with him."

"Do you?" His voice was behind me and I turned to meet it.

"Listen to me," I was sounding panicked now, but I knew I had to get the questions out before I woke up again, "I need to know what you are. I need to know why you keep appearing. I need to know why the only dreams I ever have are about you. You tell me I'm awful, but you're the worst. You lead me into nightmares, one after the other, and then you go and pull all of this shit." He was putting on the coat now, the tailor had stopped paying attention to me. "I have a life, I have a boyfriend, I'm happy, but I need to know these things."

"You need to know?"

He wasn't going to tell me, and I made a loud angry noise before turning on my heel and leaving the store in a huff, calling back, "That coat looks like a carpet."

I rushed back into the knick-knack store and called back to Samm, "Lets get out of here, this place sucks." I looked at the little box on the counter and then said to the old ladies, "Tell the gentleman that I don't want the gift."

He was there when I turned around, "I can't give you answers yet. Be patient."

NaNoWriMo

Oct. 28th, 2010 01:21 am
xhesika: (CutePlz)

I'm going to use NaNoWriMo to write something I've mulled over for a few years now. It started out as a comic I worked on very briefly, and one frame in particular is on my DA page. Without giving away too much here's the basic idea: flapper vampires behind a series of crimes in the future.

Samm was really the only one who I ever did any work on it with, and one of the characters (Bast) appeared in a cute little comic I did for a friend about ambulances and Native Americans (yes it was that much lols).

The idea is that in the future, after numerous riots, the government allows various covens of vampires to thrive as long as they don't feed on humans and follow all local legislation. Inspired by Anne Rice, the book follows the exploits of a bounty hunter hired under-the-table, Bastian Freeman.

The book has two different endings, one was bittersweet and the other was unhappily ever after. Overall its a grim story and falls best into the macabric genre. Of course the better ending was the twist that left you thinking "holy shit they really have no soul".

Of course there is no name to the book yet, and I was VERY tempted to do it comic just because Ritz's wardrobe is all gorgeous sophistigoth, but I don't have the patience at all to draw every frame of a story. I can easily write things and block it out for a comic, but I just don't feel the same drawing that I do writing.

It's my vice.

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xhesika

August 2012

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